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I think it's going to end soon

(4 Posts)
RedRaindeer Wed 12-Apr-17 17:32:33

Ive wanted to post for ages but I didn't want to get flamed for my stupid decision in the past.

Back 7 years ago me and my husbands relationship was at breaking point if I'm honest I think we both grew apart and fell out of love with each other. By this point we had been together for 8 years.

He asked me one day to email him something from his personal email address. Whilst doing so I found a massively long email chat back and forth between him and what was his OW. It was clear it had ended but I told him I couldn't forgive him for cheating on me and we separated.

Rightly or wrongly so I tracked the OWs husband down through Facebook and told him about their affair. Her and my H were still "friends" On their and I knew she was married as she openly spoke about her husband in the email.

Not long after contacting her husband , the OW contacted me and told me "I was going to pay for destroying her marriage"

She started constantly harassing me. As soon as I blocked one account a new one would be created and it started again. I didn't know at the time but my Facebook profile was open and my email and mobile number was open for everyone to see.
I told H, we were still separated at the time and he basically told me I should of left well alone and as I did it out of spite what did I expect.

As the OW and her husband had also separated I had a nasty feeling she and my H had starting things up again. My suspicions were confirmed when my at the time young daughter had met the OW when she was with her dad for the weekend.

As soon as I found out I stupidly then wanted him back. He did come back home and finished things once again with the OW.

The harassment carried on and the police were involved. It stopped until she moved countries. Our police no longer wanted / could do anything so we tried to do everything to stop it. By changing numbers, landline, emails, social media and even ended up moving as every Valentine's Day she used to send cards to my H and it was a constant reminder.

We have moved on with our lives and are now 7 years on. She has managed to find ways to contact us both through our businesses ect over the last few years from time to time. But it's not very often.

For years my H was a changed man, really lovely to be around kind caring and loving but all of a sudden it's dried up again. We have gone back to drifting apart. No kisses from him ever, no cuddles no hand holding. When I tell him I love him he just smiles and never says it back or tells me anymore.

I can't see things changing, I could probably talk to him then a bit of effort will be put in for a few weeks then back to the way things are now.

I regret begging him to come back now, I wish I could turn back the time and do it over again.

It's the end pretty much now isn't it? 7 years wasted.

Adora10 Wed 12-Apr-17 17:56:00

7 years is nothing OP; and you are allowed to change your mind, when you told him about the harassment from the OW his reaction should have told you everything you need to know now, he just doesn't care enough does he; I'd not be surprised if he starts up something with some OW; I don't think he's committed at all; you can tell him now you've made a mistake.

Are you sure it every finally ended, it's like she was making a statement every time she was making contact.

Sorry you've been used by these two cretins, get out and live your life free of a cheating partner.

RedRaindeer Wed 12-Apr-17 18:35:28

Thanks for your reply.

I cannot obviously say 100% certain but I am 99.9% sure it ended when he said. When he came home I had a few conditions and 1st was no contract what so ever with the OW. As soon as she has ever contacted him he will immediately tell me and I've delbt with it.

When she contacts me it's always along the lines on I want him back, I want my life that I have. I will get him back. It's really tiresome.

He is now fully transparent with all devices emails and we have no secrets.

You are correct, he doesn't care!

SandyY2K Wed 12-Apr-17 19:44:04

What a nasty OW, but it serves her right that her marriage ended. I'm surprised you weren't able to get an injunction against her at the time.

If you are no longer happy in the marriage, decide what you want to do and let your husband know.

I don't blame you for what you did and it amazes me that a woman thinks it's okay to have an affair and get angry when the betrayed wife tells her husband.

If you really were nasty, you could have made things much worse for her. She's lucky that's as far as you went TBH.

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