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Is Oh a sociopath?

(10 Posts)
Hesabawbag Wed 12-Apr-17 15:34:51

On the face of things and to the outside world my oh was the almost perfect partner/father, who was thriving in his career. However in the past year I have discovered that whilst away for work he had an affair (not co Worker). He lied about details, not uncommon. However he lied to me about the extent of betrayal since it turned out that he actively sought to cheat using numerous dating sites. He also lied that he was separated on these so ow didn't know about me and our kids. A year on and he on one hand says all the right things but I have caught him out on numerous occasions lying about ridiculous things. He claims to be sorry for all hurt and doesn't know why he lies and needs help. He's. Ordered book and is awaiting councelling. It's pathetic but the kids adore him. I don't think I can stomach any more. Sociopath can't change or relate to the pain they cause othets can they?

Adora10 Wed 12-Apr-17 15:38:23

No just your common garden cheat; an opportunist who has zero regard for his own self respect never mind his wife's.

And that's before the lying; no idea why you want to waste your life of a man that has literally nothing going for him.

So what if the kids adore him, kids would adore him no matter how badly he treated you, don't stay for their sake, it's not right.

Easy way to end that pain OP, get rid.

Huskylover1 Wed 12-Apr-17 15:43:35

Wow, it would be bad enough to fall in to an affair, without meaning to, but he has actively sought out to cheat. Can you ever trust him again? I couldn't stay after this. Sorry, it's shit, but you deserve SO much more. flowers

Deadsouls Wed 12-Apr-17 15:45:05

Hmmm what makes your think he's a sociopath? He sounds like a coward and a liar but there must be more to make you think he's a sociopath

PollytheDolly Wed 12-Apr-17 15:47:24

Don't make excuses for him by wondering if he's a sociopath because he's a cheat and got caught.

stumblymonkeyremix Wed 12-Apr-17 15:54:45

There's much more to being a sociopath than being an arsehole who cheats on his DW. Its a case of common garden cheat plus some possible much more mundane issues to work through re: lying.

Unless there is a lot more to the story nothing says sociopath about this to me. Most sociopaths can't hold down a long term relationship at all, so while the fact he's married doesn't count him out it does make it quite unlikely.

Sorry that he's cheated...I'm also sorry to say that he's not likely to change flowers

WhooooAmI24601 Wed 12-Apr-17 16:08:28

I don't know about the sociopath thing but he clearly values his own enjoyment and happiness above that of you and your DC to have treated you all so dreadfully. Anyone with so little consideration and kindness isn't likely to change after so long getting away with whatever he likes; and he probably thinks he has you eating out the palm of his hand, so can do as he pleases with other women.

Hesabawbag Wed 12-Apr-17 16:18:00

Made mistake of confusing the old excuse men have of being shit communicators for what now appears his total indifference to my feelings.sad

Hesabawbag Wed 12-Apr-17 16:21:19

He is just so 'nice' outwith our relationship and like now that I'm Not eating out of his hand nastier than I ever could imagine.

Hesabawbag Wed 12-Apr-17 16:23:31

He is so charming until I make him confront what he is and has done to our family.

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