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DP reported colleague and the colleague lost his job

(86 Posts)
sadflower Tue 11-Apr-17 21:44:10

Hello all. I need some opinions, whether my DP did right or wrong because i cant stop thinking about it. He started this job three months ago. It is security job, night shift, they have to stay at places and guard them all night ( thats all i know ) He found his colleague asleep and alerted him to wake up , but when he returned to check on him later that night he claims that he found him asleep again and that when the colleague realized that he was there he started pretending that he does his job. Now i understand that when you have a job you have to do it right . The part that troubles me is that the colleague is a family man, in his fifties , that he hasnt caused any issues prior to this. My DP did not even care to ask him if there was any special circumstances that made him fall asleep that night (i maybe take it too far but anything can happened as an emergency the day before or something and caused him to be very tired). He reported him straight away but bot because he cares about the job (thats my understanding) but because he found it disrespectful that he ignored him the first time and fell asleep again. The colleague lost his job and i feel terrible about it. I need opinions please

TheDogsEatingCaptainAmerica Tue 11-Apr-17 21:46:44

No he wasn't unreasonable. He didn't sack him, he reported something that he did that was clearly wrong and the company have chosen to sack him.

Oly5 Tue 11-Apr-17 21:47:15

I think your DH has been really harsh. What if the man was up and couldn't sleep when he was off due to illness. Or due to being a carer?
He should have asked or at least warned him he'd have to report him if he didn't stay awake

UrethaFranklin Tue 11-Apr-17 21:48:25

I wouldn't feel bad, he's probably done it lots of times and just never been caught. Its not very good security if the person who is supposed to be keeping watch is asleep.

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans Tue 11-Apr-17 21:48:38

Your DH wasn't unreasonable but how is it relevant that the other man has a family? Would you feel less guilty if he was single?

donners312 Tue 11-Apr-17 21:48:52

Your partners motivation for reporting this man are deeply worrying 'didn't respect me' urgh!!

Sorry but i couldn't respect someone who behaved like that - just a prat!

You sound too caring to be with a dickhead like that!!

MoreThanUs Tue 11-Apr-17 21:49:08

Your DP reported something. Management made a decision. Nothing to do with your DP

RedBugMug Tue 11-Apr-17 21:49:20

your dh did the right thing.
if the collegue was too sleepy/unwell to do his job, he should have stayed home or told his manager.

LIZS Tue 11-Apr-17 21:49:49

Why should you feel terrible? Colleague did wrong and deserved to be disciplined, but this should be more about how you now view your dp. He needs to learn to earn respect at work and be a team player. Is he always in need of respect and that controlling with you too?

the3pigeons Tue 11-Apr-17 21:49:54

Well, it's done now, I wouldn't have done this personally to be honest.

Asmoto Tue 11-Apr-17 21:50:28

Firstly, I don't think you should feel bad about your partner's actions - it was his decision, not yours, to report his colleague.

Secondly, from what you say, your partner reported him but wasn't the one to make the sacking decision. Your partner reported the facts - there might have been other things on the person's record that led to the decision to dismiss him - it might have been one of many times he'd done this.

If your partner in good faith and not maliciously gave an honest report of what had happened, he's done nothing wrong in my view.

user1471558436 Tue 11-Apr-17 21:53:25

I think your DH should have spoken to the man and prewarned him that if caught again, he would report.

feelinglost42 Tue 11-Apr-17 21:54:59

@EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans
well yes , it bothers me even more the fact that he has a family and never caused issues before. Even if it is entirely his fault i wouldnt want to be the reason for his kids to be put in this sort of situation

PhoenixJasmine Tue 11-Apr-17 21:55:25

If colleague lost his job then it is likely that there have been previous issues - there's no reason your DP would be privy to that. It's not your DP's fault. The man lost his job through his own actions not your DP's.

I reported a subcontractor to their supervisor due to foul language and unacceptable aggressive/threatening behaviour outside my workplace (although directed at a passing member of the public, not me or my staff). The man lost his job. I don't feel guilty. I do feel sympathy for him. Happy well adjusted people do not behave like that in public whilst working.

Cynara Tue 11-Apr-17 21:55:36

I totally see where you're coming from, and even though pp make the fair point that he shouldn't have been asleep, theres something about your DP's attitude and approach that doesn't sit right with me. If he works with other people too, he might find that he needs to be squeaky clean himself from now on, because he'll have a reputation as a back stabber and might not be able to rely on his colleagues' goodwill after this. You sound very thoughtful and caring. If this has highlighted the fact that your DP doesn't share those characteristics, that might be something to think about.

AgentProvocateur Tue 11-Apr-17 21:55:59

.He reported him straight away but bot because he cares about the job (thats my understanding) but because he found it disrespectful that he ignored him the first time and fell asleep again.

He reported him because he was disrespectful to your partner, not because he wasn't doing his job. That tells me everything I need to know about your partner.

NeedABumChange Tue 11-Apr-17 21:56:10

Your DH did the right thing. I can't stand people not doing the job they are paid to, I see them on the same line as a thief. They are stealing their wages.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 11-Apr-17 21:57:04

Your DP was right.

The bad guys don't turn around and go home because the security guard is a family man in his fifties who might be sleeping for a "good" reason.

Your DP woke him up once. For him to then go back to sleep is definitely taking the piss.

What I find strange is that you can't stop thinking about your DPs role in it. What's going on there?

user1471548375 Tue 11-Apr-17 21:58:37

Would you feel as conflicted if it later came to light, and DH lost his job for knowing and not reporting?

sadflower Tue 11-Apr-17 22:00:19

I wouldn't feel so bad if he had reported him because he cares about the job to be done right. But he did it because he found it disrespectful towards him that the colleague didnt listen to him the first time. Almost like he punished him for personal reasons.And this bothers me a lot

gamerchick Tue 11-Apr-17 22:01:24

He reported him because he was disrespectful to your partner, not because he wasn't doing his job. That tells me everything I need to know about your partner

That he's a cock?

Hellofromme Tue 11-Apr-17 22:02:41

I completely agree with you op.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Tue 11-Apr-17 22:04:06

DH is a security guard doing shifts. One of his colleagues fell asleep on a night shift, and the client turned up and saw him and sleep. The company lost the contract, jeopardising the jobs of all the staff who worked on security because one guard fell asleep. So I would say your DP did the right thing - what if his company lost the contract leaving him out of work?

anyadviceplease35 Tue 11-Apr-17 22:04:35

Thats awful - your dh doesn't know what might be going on in his personal life. I couldnt sleep at night knowing i has lost his job

BoneyBackJefferson Tue 11-Apr-17 22:04:51

Your DH did the right thing but for the wrong reason.

Your husband sounds like he is too far up his own arse.

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