Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help me phrase text to awful exSIL who wants to 'pop in'.

(25 Posts)
wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 13:47:26

I'm an 'avoider' of confrontation. ExSIL, divorced her brother 10 years ago. Wants to pop in to give my kids Easter Eggs. Sounds innocuous but she was a complete cow to me whilst I was married to her brother and then on and off no ignored pretty much ever since.

She fell out with her brother, my exH about a year ago and they are either NC or in conflict, this is their dynamic and always has been. I can't keep up and don't want to.
Thing is their shared parents live a mile from her and kids see them at least twice weekly and she sees them pretty much daily. She could easily drop Easter eggs there. No reason at all to want to visit me and my kids know about the NC between their Dad and Aunt so are uncomfortable with seeing her.

How do I phrase 'leave me alone I want nothing to do with you or your mind-fuckery'?

Cheers.

Cloudyapples Tue 11-Apr-17 13:49:46

'Sorry we won't be in. Could you leave them with gps and the kids can bring them home from there?'

Sounds like she's fallen out with your ex and is playing nice to rub it in his face. Avoid at all costs.

FunkyChunkyCherub Tue 11-Apr-17 13:50:46

'Sorry I'm busy doing absolutely anything else'

Or wait til she arrives then shout through the letterbox 'sorry no one's home'

grin

Efferlunt Tue 11-Apr-17 13:51:26

'What a nice idea. Just drop them at your mum and dads - they will find their way to the kids byeee!'

Then make no further response

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Tue 11-Apr-17 13:51:44

Keep it simple.
I want nothing to do with your mind - fuckery leave me alone.
Or text her you have d&v but she is welcome to risk it.
Block her number and shut your blinds. .

StillStayingClassySanDiego Tue 11-Apr-17 13:52:22

'I don't want to meet up with you, you could drop off the eggs at your Mums'

You're not mates and you don't have to be pleasant to her, you owe her nothing.

Hissy Tue 11-Apr-17 13:54:18

'What a nice idea. Just drop them at your mum and dads - they will find their way to the kids byeee!'

I vote for this! you are not looking to build any bridges and this says so politely and succinctly.

Don't give it a second thought. you owe her nothing

TheMerryWidow1 Tue 11-Apr-17 13:57:16

'What a nice idea. Just drop them at your mum and dads - they will find their way to the kids byeee!'

Agree with above, then block her on your phone you don't need to be in contact.

wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 14:00:19

Thanks MNers. Efferlunt reply sounds good to me. She is the sort to turn up uninvited and brazen is out. Will lock door hide. confused. Kids and I are some damn polite and would probably say come in instinctively and then wonder why we don't stand up for ourselves.

wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 14:04:09

I keep her on my phone but never use it. She does unfortunately try to talk to my kids via their phones and facebook too. Kids just ignore but it's not okay. They don't need this shit. Unfortunately it always has the outward appearance of being nice.
Before Xmas she text me that she would be taking my daughter out for the day xmas clothes shopping! She hadn't spoken to either her brother or me for over a year! She wasn't asking, he was telling me. Luckily I bumped into her H and was able to tell him it wasn't going to happen as daughter too busy. Her H is lovely.

Starlight2345 Tue 11-Apr-17 14:25:37

If you do answer the door to her by accident..Oh thank you we are just getting ready to go out so can't invite you in..Happy Easter though.. and off you go back to the Tv

wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 14:29:05

Text sent. Thanks.

TupperwareTat Tue 11-Apr-17 14:35:22

I wouldnt text her back.

SheepyFun Tue 11-Apr-17 14:41:12

Don't give a reason, e.g. 'I'm sorry, we'll be swimming then' as it opens a can of worms as to when you'll finish swimming etc. The gp's sound a great option.

Butterymuffin Tue 11-Apr-17 14:43:29

Well done. Don't reply to any more texts and as Starlight says, don't let her in if she turns up.

ohfourfoxache Tue 11-Apr-17 14:45:51

Hope she leaves you alone now

BillyButtfuck Tue 11-Apr-17 14:46:48

Good luck op grin

RubbishMantra Tue 11-Apr-17 14:51:42

Oh no! I had a SIL like this! When we moved house, she banged on all the neighbours' doors, trying to find us, with at least half a dozen randoms in tow. Instead of apologising for annoying said neighbours, she said it was our fault because we should've been spreading the joy of her business...

Some people are utter, self centred wankers/bullies.

wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 17:26:26

No reply! She's possibly in shock I haven't rolled over as usual grin

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Tue 11-Apr-17 17:45:30

Well done you !

Mivery Tue 11-Apr-17 18:04:41

Haham nicely done! Can't wait to hear her reply grin.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 11-Apr-17 19:48:57

If she does stop by unannounced, don't hide. That's what a child would do. Answer the door with a very cool expression on your face and tell her very firmly that it is not a good time and you are not able to let her in. You don't need to babble excuses, and if she asks, just repeat it's not a good time. Do this each and every time she shows up.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Tue 11-Apr-17 19:59:23

Someone posted on here before that when their nan used to answer the door and didn't know who it was she'd put on her coat and if it was someone she didn't like would pretend she was heading out, thus avoiding inviting them in.

Just sayin' if you're a chicken like me then this is genius

wantmorenow Tue 11-Apr-17 22:34:31

Total blissful silence. Cheers,

BillyButtfuck Tue 11-Apr-17 22:38:58

winecheers to that OP

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now