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My family and some issues

(10 Posts)
lilyrose85 Tue 11-Apr-17 12:20:41

Me and my husband are very active people we like going for lunch and doing activities/walks when we have time off together. My parents on the other hand are the total opposite they hate doing things that involve interacting or entertaining. When they come to our house they sit with their coats on even if it's for dinner and make excuses to go straight away. When I got married they suggested me and my husband elope and when we said we weren't eloping they said they'd go to the wedding but would leave at X time even though they were staying in the venue.
With Easter next week my mum has been at me and my husband to bring our new daughter over to her house. She suggested we visit this Friday and I said my husband was working and I can't drive due to having a c-section, I suggested she come out to us and she said no so she suggested the bank holiday Monday and I said no we are going out for
lunch for the day but she was more than welcome to join us.
She's now after getting really scorpy with me. My mum knows I am not allowed drive and also knows my husband works really long hours and I wouldn't have anyone I could ask to drive me over. My mum doesn't drive but won't ask my brother to drive her as she doesn't like to bother him and she wants us to go to hers for my brother to meet the baby as he's "too busy with work to come to our house and meet the baby" The other thing that annoys me about going to her house is I've to leave the room to feed. With my DS I had to feed him in another room and now with my DD I am more confident and refuse to be treated differently cos I choose to breastfeed. Sorry for the rant just needed to get it out there but would love some perspective

PickAChew Tue 11-Apr-17 12:23:58

I'd just say sorry we won't get to see you over Easter, then. Maybe another time, eh?

Castleonacloud Tue 11-Apr-17 12:26:55

Ditto. Life is too short to be messed around. You do what suits you and yours. End of.

SorrelSoup Tue 11-Apr-17 12:29:03

With a new baby and a c section it is normal that people come to you. You've been flexible and offered alternatives, so that's that. Yes, just say, hopefully see you at some point in the future. Get on with your own life, they sound unpleasant and unsupportive anyway.

HerOtherHalf Tue 11-Apr-17 12:29:30

You've just had a baby and she wants you to do all the running around? You don't ned others to give perspective, it's as clear as day. Enjoy your new baby, get what redt you can and let her come to you if she wants to see her new grandchild.

lilyrose85 Tue 11-Apr-17 12:31:42

Thanks everyone was just upset after the last message she sent me it wasn't bad it was just the tone. Easter isn't a big thing for us we've made plans this year due to the fact that both myself and DH are off work. We also had my mum out for Mother's Day meaning my OH didn't get to see his mum as he picked up my mum for me and dropped her home.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 11-Apr-17 13:01:09

Does your mother have an anxiety disorder? It sure sounds like it.

RatherBeRiding Tue 11-Apr-17 13:06:02

I take it your dad doesn't drive either? Do you/they live somewhere completely inaccessible by public transport?

Unless there are exceptional circumstances then I'd say it was the person desperate to see the baby that makes the effort.

lilyrose85 Tue 11-Apr-17 19:53:39

No my dad drives but he works long hours and does shift work and mainly works over any occasion. I often feel my mum thinks I should conform to her. A few weeks ago she told me having a c section was a bad idea, then she told me I shouldn't have any more children (I have 2 and my and my DH will hopefully have one more) and then if I don't go to see her she gets the hump with me. I shouldn't let it bother me as much but I'm somebody who people pleases

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Tue 11-Apr-17 19:58:09

You have just had major surgery. . . She knows where you live - leave it with her and just enjoy the new baby!! .

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