Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

MIL Issues

(5 Posts)
mussymummy Tue 11-Apr-17 08:34:11

I had a stupid argument with my MIL on boxing day which was my fault and I apologised profusely on 4 occassions, sent flowers etc and whilst my MIL said she had accepted my apology that has not been the case.
Since Christmas she has gone out of her way to exclude me from her side of the family, not inviting me to family events and basically acting like I dont exist.
4 months on she could not bring herself to even wish me happy birthday but was seen to be doing the right thing by giving my partner a card for me with some money in it but she did not even write my name in the card, all it said was best wishes.
My MIL has previously ignored her other son for nearly 2 years.
I find her behaviour very controlling and bullying and its creating a toxic environment for my daughter.
My partner has the same behaviours, when we argue he gives me the silent treatment and acts very childish, I understand that he behaves like this because he was raised in an environment where this was the norm. Am I in the wrong because I believe this behaviour is unacceptable? I know the situation is my fault to start with but feel my MIL now behaviour is dragging something out and its beginning to affect our daughter.
How do I deal with this?

Ampersand22 Tue 11-Apr-17 08:39:32

What was the argument? You might feel you were to blame but I just want to check if this is actually the case. Even if you were to blame her behaviour is unacceptable.

CitySnicker Tue 11-Apr-17 09:17:16

How is she not inviting you to family events? Surely if your partner is invited, you are invited.

fc301 Tue 11-Apr-17 09:29:00

The less you see of her the better & make sure your DP knows that you are not OK with DD being left alone with her.
Don't expect normal motherly behaviour e.g. cards.
She's gas lighting you. Probably drove you crackers so you lost it. So no more apologising.

fc301 Tue 11-Apr-17 09:29:36

& get your DP reading Toxic Parents.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now