Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What would you think if you received this? (Men's views particularly welcome)

(28 Posts)
notsurewhatreally Mon 10-Apr-17 10:48:34

Hello,

I'm considering sending this message to someone I have a strange friendship/romance with. I'd like some feedback on whether people think it's ok to send.

hope you won't mind too much that I've sent this. I just wanted to say that when I was in Camden on Saturday it brought back some really nice memories of the time we visited last year. It made me remember what a good time it was in my life and that I have you to thank for that. I don't want a response to this. I'm only telling you because life is short and you can't take it for granted that you'll always have the opportunity to say the things you want to say.

Any input appreciated. Thanks.

debbs77 Mon 10-Apr-17 10:52:19

I wouldn't send anything at all. Unless you want to start something new again with them

RebornSlippy Mon 10-Apr-17 10:55:03

Honestly? It's clear to me that you have a lot of feelings for this person by the fact you even want to send this message. Are you hoping to move this strange romance/friendship thing forward to just good ole romance? If so (and without knowing the back story/if it's a possibility) I'd remove the "I don't want a response to this" part. I feel you very much want a response, OP. Good luck!

gomezabc Mon 10-Apr-17 10:55:04

Why not send it, sounds really nice, I'd appreciate thing a message like that no matter if the was no longer motive behind it

HappyJanuary Mon 10-Apr-17 10:55:12

If I received that I would think the sender was hoping to remind me of a nice memory in the hope that it'd make me get back in touch and rekindle things.

BreatheDeep Mon 10-Apr-17 11:00:31

Agree with HappyJanuary. It's a nice message but definitely suggests you want more. If you don't, just enjoy the memories yourself and don't send the message.

MidnightVelvetthe7th Mon 10-Apr-17 11:03:12

If I received this & was in good place with a good relationship then I'd ignore it, thinking that you wanted something else.

Sorry, just keep the good memories to yourself as its going to get awkward if he replies & you will feel shit if he doesn't reply. He will have good memories too, nothing else is needed smile wine

TheNaze73 Mon 10-Apr-17 11:04:38

I'm male & we are generally crap at subtle & reading between the lines.

I'd think nice but what is the point of the text? i wouldn't respond as you'd specifically asked me not to. If you want anything else or a reaction, say exactly what you mean, as without being mean, it's a bit woolly & doesn't say much at all

DrMorbius Mon 10-Apr-17 11:06:02

For me it depends on the back story.

It's only last year and yet now you have no contact, why is that?

What exactly is a strange friendship/romance?

What is his current relationship status? If I got messages like that from an ex GF who knew I was in a relationship, I would be pissed.

MaidenMotherCrone Mon 10-Apr-17 11:09:39

If you want to start it all up again then say so. I can't stand hinting at things. If you don't want to then what is the actual point in sending it.

WellErrr Mon 10-Apr-17 11:10:14

Depends on the back story

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Mon 10-Apr-17 11:21:24

I remember receiving a message like this of a friend back from my teenage days. We literally spent all our time together. We drifted apart after leaving school.

2 years after leaving school I got a message from her.

She was looking back at old photos with her boyfriend, and she came across a lot of photos of me and her. She started reliving some of the memories too her boyfriend and dropped me a message. Basically saying how it was an awesome time, she has great memories from that time and always will. Thankyou for being an amazing friend back then and she wishes me all the best.

It was an amazing message too get!

Cricrichan Mon 10-Apr-17 11:29:08

What's the back story?

BunloafAndCrumpets Mon 10-Apr-17 11:30:40

It's a nice message. What do you actually want from it? If you are hoping for a response I would omit that part about not wanting one, as some people are very literal and you might be disappointed? Good luck!

ShatnersWig Mon 10-Apr-17 11:31:18

Agree with Naze.

LettuceMash Mon 10-Apr-17 11:31:57

Why are saying you don't want a response?

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Apr-17 11:34:17

What are you hoping the response will be?

MooPointCowsOpinion Mon 10-Apr-17 11:34:40

I don't understand your point in the message. Could you be more direct? 'I was just at Camden and it reminded me of us there last year! That was such a great trip, great memories. How are you?'

MamaHanji Mon 10-Apr-17 11:39:00

I think Naze is right.

As a woman, well in my opinion anyway, i read it as 'im looking back on the good times we had and I still have feelings for you. If you are interested, I am definitely up for rekindling what we had'

Whereas to a man, I think it reads as 'thinking of good memories. Thanks for the good times. Bye'

MangosAndPapayas Mon 10-Apr-17 11:52:56

If you intend to send it, for heaven's sake delete the first sentence. It sounds terribly weak and undermines the whole thing.

flumpybear Mon 10-Apr-17 12:23:34

Back story please

Personally if I received they I'd see it as someone dropping a line to rekindle a friendship or relationship - if he's on Facebook then tag him into a status or something - is he in a relationship? If he is then step away

Peanutbuttercheese Mon 10-Apr-17 12:25:52

It's rekindling, though nice there is a hint of desperation. Who finished the strange romance/ relationship?

SnoogyWoo Mon 10-Apr-17 12:31:07

How would you feel if you didn't get a response?

MephistophelesApprentice Mon 10-Apr-17 12:35:06

As a man: I'd feel very complimented. Relationship or not, it'd give me a good feeling to be remembered fondly.

Personally I'd change it to 'I don't need a response to this' or 'I don't expect a response to this' as it leaves options open.

NotTheFordType Mon 10-Apr-17 12:57:48

"hope you won't mind too much that I've sent this"

This reads that either of the following may be true:
He now has a partner;
He did have a partner then and you were the OW and there was Drama;
He has asked you not to contact him again.

if any of the above are true then I would leave well alone.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now