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How to get out a miserable relationship

(6 Posts)
FreshStart2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 10:14:58

When the DC's dad says he's keeping them?

I've had enough of playing happy families and putting on a front, I'm totally miserable with my partner. The only thing that has kept me here is the DC's (both preschool). My partner has always said if we split then I go alone. I'm honestly thinking of booking a hotel room for a few nights and phoning the council to tell them my situation and hope they help me out but I'm totally terrified of the shit storm it would cause because he would go mental.

My options are, stay and be miserable or leave and be mentally tortured by the DC's dad sad

The house is his, the car I drive is in his name, we aren't married and I've been a SAHM for the last 5 years.....I'm totally screwed.

Cricrichan Mon 10-Apr-17 10:19:38

He doesn't get to decide that. Go online or arrange a meeting with the CAB to find out what you'd be entitled to - both benefits wise and from him. Also start looking for a job.

BeKind89 Mon 10-Apr-17 14:52:33

If you're a SAHM then you're their primary care giver, which means you have more parental rights than he does. No court in their right mind would put them in his custody over yours (providing there aren't any other issues)

BeKind89 Mon 10-Apr-17 14:54:14

At the end of the day they aren't property. They're children with emotions and feelings - don't let him use them as a bargaining tool.

You have another option - leave with your kids.

isitjustme2017 Mon 10-Apr-17 14:56:21

Don't listen to him, he's trying to scare you. Immediately call tax credits and find out what you would be entitled to (they have an online calculator). Do you have enough money to put down a deposit on a rental property at the moment? If not, can you borrow the money?
Find a rental property, pack yours and the kids things and leave with them. He can't stop you and if he wants full custody he will have to get a solicitor and take you to court.
One good thing of the house being in his name, you don't have to pay a penny towards it.
I'm about to split from my partner and we jointly own the home. This means I cannot move out as I am liable for half the mortgage and can't afford that.

scruffleshuffle Mon 10-Apr-17 15:50:26

Ring CAB. I'm in a similar position (although not quite the same) but I'm not married etc. I've contacted them and they have sent me an email with plenty of links/numbers to call etc to find out my rights etc. My advice would be not to jump into a quick thoughtless decision, bide your time, collect your information, start to prepare, take up a couple of hobbies to keep you sane in the meanwhile and get some strength up. When you're better armoured, leave him.

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