Hi everyone
I called women's aid 2 months ago after stbxh' behaviour towards me and dc started escalating (bullying and verbally abusive to me and started on my ds10) after coming on here for support I plucked up the courage to ring womens aid (best thing I ever did) and they persuaded me to report him to the police which was the scariest things in I've ever done. I didn't press charges but I told him that I had reported him and that if he didn't leave I would take it further and this seemed to be the control I needed to gain and he eventually left after about 5 hours of raging at me.
This was 2 months ago and he seemed to accept the situation and we were pretty amicable, he said he definitely wouldn't be back and was happy in new flat etc etc. Anyway he hated the fact that I somehow 'had something over him' and told me that I wasn't to ever mention the abuse thing ever again. I told him that there was no reason to mention it again (unless he gave me a reason of course like breaking in or whatever). Anyway my ds has been unhappy with my stbxh treatemrnt of him during their contact - he has basically not changed a single thing and still bullies my son. My ds has become much braver since not living with his dad and I've noticed him becoming generally more relaxed. Yesterday morning he was supposed to go to his dads in the afternoon but came to me in the morning and said he didn't want to go, because he hated the way his dad overreacted to everything he did and ex had called him 'a liar' 2 days ago. I told him I'd talk to his dad and I would sort it out. Well I did ring him.... it didn't go down well whatsoever. Stbxh went absolutely mad over the phone, my son was holding my hand for support whilst bravely telling his dad was his issues were. He didn't listen he accused me of making it all up, ganging up on him, manipulating our ds, basicallly deflecting any blame whatsoever and putting it onto me. I told him that ds wasn't going to see him that day and that we could talk in a few days when he'd calmed down.
Around 6pm he turned up at the house, asked if he could get his bike and I stupidly let him in to get it. Well then he decided he was NOT leaving.. caused a huge scene, I ended up calling 2 of my neighbours husbands who are also his friends to try and persuade him. I called his family and his uncle came. He still wouldn't leave. My ds witnessed all of this, eventually i rang 999 and the police came around midnight and got him out of the house. Luckily my ds went to bed at 11:30 so was at least spared that. It was completely awful. I think he thoight I wouldn't do it, all he has gained is yet another domestic abuse incident on record...
the domestic abuse counsellor that my GP referred me to had warned me that he wouldn't just go quietly but I didn't believe her and thought I had it and him under control.... she was right though. Anyway I just wanted to say to anyone too scared to get people involved that you should. I have been really supported by the police and women's aid and they did take me seriously. I was really scared to ring them last night as I didn't want a big scene in front of the neighbours etc but in the end he left me no option and it was actually fine and even though it's legally his house they got him out and were very supportive. My ds was blaming himself last night as he thoight he'd caused it all by coming to me and that is in no way the case. His dad is a complete bully and I am so glad that my ds now feels 'safe' enough to stand up for himself as he knows that I'll do everything to protect him.
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Had to call police last night
9 replies
Secretlife0fbees · 10/04/2017 07:54
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