Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
Advice please, I am being stalked(206 Posts)
Hello everyone. I dont really know where to begin and this is complicated. I am being stalked online and offline, I have also been disgustingly slandered and harassed. Stopping short of deleting all of my social network accounts I dont know what to do. I was hacked a few years ago, and things that I had written went on to be plagiarised, then I was subjected to a smear campaign. This was really bad, It ended up in me having a mental breakdown and attempting suicide. The online harassment is still happening. I already had post traumatic stress disorder before this. I have told the police, I have screenshots of the weird cryptic harassment I am on the receiving end of almost daily. Removing my social network accounts would render me pretty much isolated due to disability. This has made me beyond depressed, It also made me relapse back into having an eating disorder and I am now awaiting assistance from mental health services because of this unrelenting and cruel harassment. Any advice would be appreciated, I just dont know what to do. My children and I had to leave our home because of this, which was a massive upheaval for all of us. This is actually making me ill. Sorry for moaning but you ladies give the best advice.
What have the police said? You really need to keep on at them. My friend was stalked and harassed and it was a hard slog but she eventually got a restraining order.
So sorry you are going through this. It sounds so scary. Please contact the police again. May I ask who's harassing you?
I don't actually know who is harassing me, One of the joys of the internet is anonimity I suppose, but that doesn't go in the favour of people like me. Lots of different people seem to be involved, or just a handful with many fake accounts online. I have had objects left outside my home, People told others awful untrue things about me which where absolutely devastating. I intend to go to the police again tomorrow about this. I have called them numerous times regarding this too, I showed them evidence and they took no action, that was 3 years ago and it still continues :/ I did give a statement, which I have a copy of ( I got this after) and it wasn't correct at all. Do you think it's worth contacting a solicitor?
Our cat was also stolen, then the next day someone sent me a friend request on facebook and their profile picture was a tabby in a cooking pan. A week later someone left a rotten meat pie on my wall (I'm vegan). There where also posts on a forum I used to visit but cannot anymore, due to this where someone mentioned my cats unusual name and said she was their cat now.Just lots of creepy and unsettling things. Really not nice for me or my sons.
You need to print off/screen shot and log /make a diary of absolutely everything and keep on and on at the police. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Keep copies of everything you have given to the police too as sometimes things get lost!
My friend had to give SO many statements and repeat her story a thousand times to so many different people but she got there in the end. Good luck.
OP- I mean this in the kindest possible way, but could it be possible that you're not well at the moment and are experiencing a recurrence of previous persecutory delusions? I'm so sorry if this suggestion offends you; that's not my intention. But I happen to speak with people on a fairly regular basis who believe the almost exact same things as you (they could have written your exact post) and they realise in time (following the right sort of help) that these were delusional beliefs, exaggerated and distorted in their minds.
Have you tried talking to close family/friends about what you believe is going on? What are their thoughts on it? Have you shared this with a mental health professional, or seen your GP lately? Have you perhaps been under stress lately or not sleeping/taking meds?
I hope things start to feel safer for you very soon, however that comes to pass.
Runciblesp00n, Sorry, I know you mean that in the kindest possible way but I will not be gaslight and reduced to the slur of delusional. I can post a link to my dropbox which shows some of the vile online harassment I have been subjected to if you like, also screenshots of which I have hundreds. I also had a mental health assessment and I am not delusional. That is offensive. Sorry but it is.
Of course I am under stress. How would you expect anyone to not be stressed following the things we have had to live through, sorry for my bluntness, I'm not the greatest communicator.
Inadvertently your response is distasteful, under-miming , triggering (cliche, I know but it is) and I would consider it to be astroturfing. Everything I write can be proved. I compile much evidence, Please dont patronise me.
You poor thing! This is undoubtedly someone you know. Do you have any inkling of who would want to hurt you like this? I've been a victim of stalking myself. So difficult to prove. Please stay safe. I had to leave town to stop mine but it was before social media days. X
I have no idea at all. Which is unfortunate.When this first started I racked my brains wondering who and why but I have no enemies that I know of. I have always kept myself to myself. I have a small family and we where very happy. I have left 2 areas already, I have not the energy to fight back, I'm not socially savvy either and stress exacerbates my illnesses and causes big flares.
How old are your children, OP? Are they aware of what is happening?
How terrifying for you OP. I was fortunate in a way in knowing who it was. Can't imagine your situation. I don't know what to suggest apart from trying to get the Police a bit more onboard x
Surely if you're being harassed online and all the evidence is available, it's just a matter of police tracing the IIP address? People have been prosecuted for this kind of harassment before so I don't understand why the police wouldn't act. When you say that people have been told untrue things about you, is it people who you know personally or people you only know online? Have they been contacted anonymously?
Definitely poster the police. Also see your local MP who should push this along for you. What about your GP, can they not be a link to the police?
I'm so sorry you're having such an awful time.
I'm sorry that you're having a horrible time. I hope things get better for you soon xx
There must have been some serious incidents if you have been forced to move home twice. Did you report them to the police?
This sounds awful, OP. Just some ideas:
you say "People told others awful untrue things about me" - can you ask those people who tell you what they've heard how or where they heard this?
The things left at your house: just chuck them out.
I know this might sound stupid or uncaring advice, but can you do a bit of self-care CBT - can you pretend that these things don't affect you? Pretend that a meat pie left for a vegan is just a stupid thing a stupid person has done, and that You.Don't.Care.
The problem about this sort of harassment - like any sort of bullying - is that it works "best" (horrid way to think about it, I know) when the person being targeted responds and shows their distress (I was bullied as a child relentlessly. I learned this the hard way).
So can you ACT as if it doesn't trigger or upset you?
I realise this may sound as though I'm ignorant of the deep effects of PTSD etc, but I'm trying to offer some ideas to help you, while the police e& the GP & the community mental health people can do their thing.
The thing about pretending a certain approach or attitude is that, if you're lucky, it can become "true" - you can stop caring or letting stupid cruel pranks like a meat pie affect you. You really can.
I would also suggest that you are selective about social media. I understand about them being an important form of communication, but there is a middle way between only living life on line, and never going online.
And I'd second RuncibleSpoon's advice. Sometimes when we're legitimately upset, that feeling distorts our other thought processes as well.
I think there are lots of ways you can attack this problem. The first thing to think is: that you DO have power over your own feelings. Take control of that power. Laugh in the faces of the idiots who are so pathetic they need to make someone else cry.
i think there maybe online forums for someone in your position, ie specialised groups of people going through exactly thesame thing.. you have my sincere sympathies
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
I did report all of this to the police. I will contact an mp too. I will be buying cctv as advised by a friend. My children are not aware of this but they have witnessed a few odd incidents. They are only young so I shield them from this. I called the police multiple times when this was relly bad and they ignored my evidence and referred me to social services.I will go back to the gp. All the stress gives me somatic issues like terrible anxiety which makes me physically sick (sorry, tmi I know) and an upset tummy. I have no idea why the police wont investigate. I did call them a while ago and ask to speak to CID because I was being threatened with horrible things, the man I spoke to said no action could be taken until something happened to me. I have told friends and relatives, some have seen things with their own eyes and know what is going on. I think I just have to go there with all of my print offs and dvds of the online stuff I recorded and hopefully that will prompt them. My autistic son even had to deal with weirdos on the playstation network. These people knew my email address and found him on there. Sony would happily hand over the data to the police but they wont do anything. Thanks for all of your support and for reading my troubles, also thanks for the advice. It's massively appreciated
I'm sorry you're having a bad time, OP. You must feel very frightened. I see you wrote that you are awaiting assistance from mental health services. I think you need to get in touch with them, or ask someone to do this for you (GP?), and let them know how all this is affecting you right now.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.