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Friend fall out

(34 Posts)
Renamed4this Sat 08-Apr-17 20:19:30

I've nc for this as it could be very obvious to any real life friends...

So, a mum friend and I have had a pretty big fall out. We've been clashing a little for a while on and off, she always being the victim of me doing something terribly awful such as me being really unwell with pnd and her taking it personally, me being jealous of her and another mum friend when they took their children to a craft morning after I very casually said in a group chat "I might have joined you if I'd known as our plans were cancelled" - she wanted a meeting with me to discuss this!

The big one though...bare with me it's a bit Facebook related and long but I need to get this out of my head now...a month or so ago an old friend had commented that mum friend was not liking any pics of my child, yet liking everyone else's. Old friend is a bit of a shit stirrer, but I did go and have a look at the posts she mentioned and she was correct, mum friend hadn't liked anything - and it was a bit obvious as she'd liked everything else. Anyway, mum friend and I have a morning play catch up with our children and I decide to ask her (as after the last meeting she wanted re jealous of craft morning, we decided to be open if any issues)...if she had any problem with my child as someone had mentioned her not liking his photos and I didn't want to dwell or question it now the seed had been planted. Straight sway, "no, of course not, I love your child" "of course I've liked all his photos" I said in a pretty nice way that I didn't really care what photos she likes or doesn't as that was her choice, but the particular post my old friend had mentioned was so obvious, so it did make me wonder once this little seed had been planted. She said she was upset someone would say that to me and I agreed that they were stirring. Had a little chat saying it was silly etc...seemed like we'd moved on and all was ok. Later in the day I decided to tell her who it was who had said it and apologised as I didn't want her thinking badly of anyone etc - at no point had I given a name before this...I then had a text saying how she was happy I spoke with her and not to apologise.

Fast forward two weeks later, she's now completely ignoring me, avoiding any direct messages to me in the group chats, just seriously off with me. I then sent her a message, as she just wasn't speaking to me at all in person and was darting off at school before I had chance to even get a reply to a hello, simply saying I hope everything is ok, felt like she'd been distant lately etc - happy to chat/meet up. First response was she was busy, then two weeks after that I try again and the response back was really quite harsh that she was still upset re me asking her if she had a problem with my child and that i'd made out it was one of our mutual friends, which I don't feel I did.

It's sounding so ridiculously trivial writing this down, but I've gone from being upset we're no longer friends, to angry that she's lying to our mutual friends what I said, to tonight where I am now questioning if I really did mess it up worse than I thought I had.

Sorry it's so long, I wanted to get the whole situation down.

Anyone care to break this down and let me see the situation more clearly.

Thanks in advance.

CarrieWatermelon Sat 08-Apr-17 20:25:53

This is SO juvenile. How do any of you have time for it?!

Do you want to be friends with this woman (or the other woman who shit-stirred over Facebook?). They sound pathetic.

Renamed4this Sat 08-Apr-17 20:28:47

No, I don't. I've had some clarity since it all kicked off, but tonight I'm having s wobble that I was in the wrong.

That's pretty much how I explained it - I was dealing with this kind of crap at school!

Happymac1 Sat 08-Apr-17 20:31:39

You seriously asked someone why they weren't liking your pics on Facebook......

EccentricPickle Sat 08-Apr-17 20:38:06

I think that you and this woman don't really like each other so it's probably best that you move on. Just leave her to it. Be civil in a group but you don't have to be friends.

Can't believe you asked her why she wasn't liking your photos on FB though.

Renamed4this Sat 08-Apr-17 20:41:23

I know and I am cringing about it all now as it's not really anything I'd usually do, but we'd agreed to be open and honest, so thought I was. Bad decision in hindsight, but didn't expect this aftermath.

Renamed4this Sat 08-Apr-17 20:43:05

Just asked for this post to be removed as I feel it's a bit too revealing.

Thanks for replies.

WorkingBling Sat 08-Apr-17 20:43:57

I agree with pp. you clearly don't like each other. She has had silly issues with you and now you are doing the same. Let it go. And I would consider ditching the friend who pointed this all out too. It's way too juvenile and silly for supposedly mature women.

GoodDayToYou Sat 08-Apr-17 20:44:55

It sounds like hard work being friends with her. I prefer things to be easy and enjoyable. I would say hi if you see her but don't seek her out. Let her do her thing, wish her well in your mind and carry on.

EccentricPickle Sat 08-Apr-17 20:48:31

She sounds petty and quite pathetic. If I were you I'd stop trying to make amends.

I know that I said that I couldn't believe you asked but, to be fair, if it hadn't been this she probably would have blown over something else somewhere along the line.

I don't know - why are people such hard work? You'd think as adults you wouldn't have to put up with this kind of stuff!

I've had similar in my friendship group recently (not with me, a couple of the others) I've had to quietly withdraw for a bit as I can't be doing. I'm 33, not 10.

AndTheBandPlayedOn Sat 08-Apr-17 20:50:13

I don't think you are losing anything here tbh. She can dish it out about your behavior but can't take it when there is a question about hers. Stop contacting her and don't respond if she ever decides to contact you.

Maybe you are due a break ftom Facebook?wink (or at least a "friends" weeding out.)

Renamed4this Sat 08-Apr-17 20:51:08

Thanks everyone. I'm happy to be civil of course, but you're right, if it wasn't this, I think it would be something else.

Friends definitely shouldn't be this much hard work!

PaulDacresFeministConscience Sat 08-Apr-17 20:54:41

She sounds very highly strung. I don't have the energy for people like that - I like my friends to add something positive to my life. This woman just sounds like she's a nervy bag of hard fucking work.

In your shoes I would ghost her and be completely unavailable. Let her do the drama llama antics with someone else.

BonnyScotland Sat 08-Apr-17 21:15:37

FaceBook is a Cesspit where the smugness and Vanity of Bitchiness and Witches reign supreme ...

where kindness and humility is marauded as weakness...

your 'Friend' knows exactly what she is doing.... walk away and please Stay Away from Facebook ... x

Underthemoonlight Sat 08-Apr-17 21:23:17

You both sound as pathetic as each other TBH. As if you meantioned her having a problem with your child due to her not liking stuff.i don't like everything my friends post and Vice Versa it might just be a case of not even seen it.

gamerchick Sat 08-Apr-17 21:37:41

I can't even start to care who likes my Facebook shit or not and I would give someone shit stirring a wide berth as well as stroppy mama.

Seriously this is all bollocks.

TheStoic Sat 08-Apr-17 22:01:59

Why would you tell her that your old friend had said that? Bet she's not happy with you now either.

Aquamarine1029 Sat 08-Apr-17 22:04:57

This is the most ridiculous "problem" I've ever heard of. My god.

JustSpeakSense Sat 08-Apr-17 22:20:21

I think challenging her on not liking photos of your DS was quite over the top, and (even though you were obviously upset by it) quite petty.

She probably feels that you are picking on her, and trying to start an argument. I'm sorry to say, I think you've ended this friendship.

Just back off and be friendly when you see her, and next time try not take offence and confront people who upset you.

BonnyScotland Sat 08-Apr-17 22:31:54

the 'Friend' is not Liking her kids photos ...it's visible for all to see and clearly a snub ... why shouldn't she raise the question... ? isn't the entire point of FaceBook is Liking Posts etc .... the Friend is displaying aggressive behaviour .... even online it's still evident to the OP ... hmm

BonnyScotland Sat 08-Apr-17 22:36:03

apologies ..... the Friend is displaying Passive Aggressive behaviour .... not aggressive shock

Trustyourself2 Sat 08-Apr-17 22:52:43

I don't use facebook and the like, so I was trying not to be judgy, but I'm reassured that the majority of replies are how I would respond.

Cherrysoup Sat 08-Apr-17 23:04:50

She sounds like a cow. She's deliberately not liked your pics. She also sounds like she has low self esteem as she's so concerned about you mentioning it. Unless your social life hinges on her being happy with you (the controlling mare!) then I'd ignore her. You're an adult, who has time for this game playing shit?

SparklingRaspberry Sun 09-Apr-17 12:10:15

She sounds childish.

The other friend sounds childish

And I'm sorry, you also sound a little childish

I couldn't care less who 'likes' or who doesn't 'like' my photos on Facebook.
Why is it such a big deal? I cringed when I read that you spoke to her and asked if she had any problems with your child simply because she hadn't liked any recent photos.

I see lots of lovely photos on fb. I don't necessarily click the like button. Why? Because it means absolutely nothing!!!

I don't know how any of you have the energy for this.

BonnyScotland Sun 09-Apr-17 12:41:26

I don't use Facebook either.. it's pitiful x

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