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Stonewalling...

(5 Posts)
Bluewombler2k Fri 07-Apr-17 19:38:22

How do people deal with a partner that does this? Long story short: DH is great in most ways but if I have a problem with him for some reason or other, he will physically shut down before my very eyes! I'm not talking personal annihilation from me but now and again if I need to get something off of my chest he just starts sighing, rubbing his eyes, shaking his head, walking out or just sitting there blanking me. These aren't big issues and neither am I a massive nag but when he stonewalls me like this I get so frustrated and upset that I will initially try to get him to open up then when that doesn't work just leave him to it hoping he might open up if I give him space, to then crying with frustration at the stupidness of it all wherein where me wanting an adult conversation has turned into a bigger problem because he won't even talk about the original thing?

I know that he thinks that if he doesn't respond then in his head the conversation will cease but that doesn't help me to deal with the initial dilemma and then the frustration and hurt he causes by blocking/minimising/dismissing. I have read loads of stuff on this but have never really found any sort of advice as to what to do in my situation, it seems to be more about identifying what they are doing.

Sooo, any advice? I don't want to leave as it seems so petty to want to leave just because of this but I really am out of ideas.
Fyi, it probably happens once every 2-3 months or something but the fallout from the blanking and never helping to rectify a situation seems to last for days and just chips away at me.

Sorry for the long post, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Bluewombler2k Fri 07-Apr-17 19:45:06

Gah ignore a certain bit in there, autocorrect put in something it shouldn't and a completely random thing instead!!

RunRabbitRunRabbit Fri 07-Apr-17 19:50:56

What happens with the thing that needs discussion? Got any recent examples?

madcatwoman61 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:56:38

Have you tried writing it down in a letter to him - he can then consider his response before giving it which might make it easier for him to engage

Bluewombler2k Fri 07-Apr-17 19:59:46

Hi run can I reply later when my silly mistake has been edited out as it could be quite revealing (it's not my DH's address btw)

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