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Please help me to be independent again

(2 Posts)
vulnerablemum Fri 07-Apr-17 18:04:24

I have name changed to avoid associations with other threads.

I am posting because after 20 years of being together and two gorgeous children, Dh has said he doesn't think we are right together. He then listed some examples of why he is not totally happy which I do understand and can change - (basically he feels pushed out with the dc). But he also said he feels like I don't care about him.

I was very disconcerted about this part and the 'we are not right together' comment as I don't believe I can do more/make more of an effort in the relationship. I try to be supportive a wife as possible and am never restrictive of what he wants to do. Everything is about keeping him happy - but obviously he isn't/it isn't enough.

I took on board about what he said about changing the family dynamics but the other bits make me feel like I'm on my way out. Even though since the conversation he is reassuring and tells me he loves me etc and being very affectionate.

I currently work part time to fit in around school hours, while his career has taken off and he earns mega money. He is generous, but he keeps the majority of his earnings for himself. Also the assets are all in his name.

I guess I am feeling in a bit of a precarious position since his revelation and feeling like I must become more independent again. However, how will I stand on my own two feet when I have two young girls in school and no family support nearby( if I was to return to work full time?)

How else can I be strong and independent again? Any tips?

springydaffs Fri 07-Apr-17 18:18:11

he keeps the majority of his earnings for himself. Also the assets are all in his name.

Don't wait for him to make a decision about his naughty little wife who needs to understand her role is to serve her master; make the decision for him.

All that carry on was to remind you of your place. Or at least the place he considers you should have, see above.

If you did choose to make his decision for him you would be quids in on the marital assets front. You'd have an awful lot more money than you do now, which would naturally foster a lovely independence.

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