Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Webcam porn stuff --any experts?

(20 Posts)
yetmorecrap Fri 07-Apr-17 16:59:04

Name changed for this. At the moment following on from finding out about an emotional affair a few months ago Ive been "monitoring" discretely my H's safari and calls etc. I last did a check on ipad 3 months ago and was clear but today I noticed in his Safari bookmarks but with the red trash icon 3 separate pages with different URLs marked to Live Jasmine (which is an adult webcam chat type place) these pages all have different girls on them - Now it may be he just wanted to look at the pretty front page pictures--which for porn are actually quite tasteful(ish) but maybe not. Question is , would it be possible for these pages to actually appear in bookmarks without him actually placing them there ! this is on ipad using Safari. They do not show up when you look at his current bookmarks, its only because I used Dr fone which shows any deleted bookmarks marked with red trash icon and must have been bookmarked and deleted within last 3 months. I cant see for the life of me how they would get into bookmarks unless he bookmarked them and there are no other sites or porn there at all of any kind--everything else is stuff I know he would have bookmarked. I did try to log in on the site but his known user names and passwords that he usually uses dont login at all. Any tips?

Adora10 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:08:00

Well it sounds like he has bookmarked them yes.

Your post reads like a mum policing her teenage son; is he really worth all this detective work OP? You have no trust because he's already broken it.

If he is webcamming he's still cheating.

Booboo27 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:10:44

Yep he must have bookmarked them himself. Does it say when he bookmarked that site as he could have done it ages ago? How would you feel if he was watching/paying girls on webcam?

BowToxic Fri 07-Apr-17 17:13:06

I'm sorry but webcamming is not cheating. He's not doing anything physical or emotional with the models.

Booboo27 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:14:16

I also wouldn't class it as cheating. Although if my DP was paying lots of money then I'd be pissed off. If it's a free thing then I'd not see it any differently to porn which doesn't bother me

pog100 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:17:00

Jasmine is a very common pop up which appears when you access a large number of other porn sites. The appearance in browser history doesn't necessarily mean he has directly accessed or paid for webcams. It probably does mean that he has accessed porn sites though, as i imagine jasmine mostly or always pops up behind porn, not more mainstream sites

OverOn Fri 07-Apr-17 17:17:59

Do you want to spend your life checking up on your DH, paranoid about what he's up to?

If the trust has gone, do you need to reevaluate whether you want to stay in the relationship?

PamDooveOrangeJoof Fri 07-Apr-17 17:20:15

Sorry but I would say this was cgheatubg. If he were watching a woman he knew on FaceTime and asking her to do stuff for him/telling her what to do for him that would be cheating. Don't think it makes a difference just because he pays and they are a stranger.
Any kind of sexual interaction outside of the marriage I would class as cheating.

19lottie82 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:22:14

There is no black and white rules as to what cheating is. What's cheating to one person may not be to another.

Adora10 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:23:05

Webcamming for me is cheating; it's interactive sex with other people, doesn't matter if it's not skin on skin.

I'd not be with any man that indulged in this anyway, it's rank and completely disrespectful in a relationship but hey, each to their own.

Adora10 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:23:55

You usually are charged for it too so he's spending family money on escorts getting him off.

Adora10 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:24:17

I should add, if, indeed, he is doing that, he may not be.

yetmorecrap Fri 07-Apr-17 17:25:41

dont worry about me ladies, Im thinking of leaving anyway--getting ducks in a row and yes if he has been paying for this stuff--personally I do count it as both unsavoury and cheating. Straight porn watching I dont have a massive issue with in moderation , Ive watched the odd bit myself very occasionally. ---- live stuff I really do have an issue with or paying for it.

MissClarke86 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:28:02

Was it in his history or had it actually been bookmarked?

It's a pop up for most porn sites, doesn't mean he's watching webcams but does mean he's likely watching porn.

Adora10 Fri 07-Apr-17 17:29:14

All the best OP; don't ever let society judge your own moral compass or your gut feeling; believe in yourself and you will be a lot happier.

yetmorecrap Fri 07-Apr-17 17:40:59

No, cant see his "browsing" history as he deletes it all, always has , this was actually in safari bookmarks (3 separate bookmarks) but shows in red and a trash sign at side of it. As I said you cant see it unless you use something that uses software and looks at deleted stuff . I dont care if people think its totally fine, if he just was using the front page pics as wank material then fine--if he has paid for webcams its a total red card from me, so will do some more digging. I appreciate its policing, I appreciate its crap, and yes the trust has gone, I know that-- but at this stage I want to fully know what Im dealing with when the shit hits the fan so to speak.

TheNaze73 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:33:19

Paying for any type of sex is pathetic & says all you need to know about someone

WamBamThankYouMaam Fri 07-Apr-17 19:56:10

I have it in my history and can assure you it's not a site I've ever purposely used.

Discreetly spying on your partner though? That's not normal behaviour. What more do you need to hang around for?

yetmorecrap Fri 07-Apr-17 20:25:31

Saving up wambam!!!

noego Fri 07-Apr-17 23:24:34

A PP has said the Jasmine is a pop up site when accessing porn sites. He may not have paid for these sites and deleted them prior to watching some porn. In fact you have to delete them sometimes to watch the video.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now