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Separation turning nasty - can he legally do this?

(49 Posts)
MartinaMartini Thu 06-Apr-17 22:13:17

I'm hoping someone will be able to guide me here?

The separation between my husband and I has now turned bitter. My decision to separate: long story - years of emotional abuse/ his drug taking/ alcoholism/ drink driving/ infidelity/ incessant lying/ dreadful behaviour towards the kids/ the list goes on. Trying to go NC so have blocked him on everything I can think of to try to get some head space from him.

His latest move is to announce that he intends to come to collect the family car from me tomorrow with his mate. Effectively leaving me and our children carless and having to walk half an hour each way to school, and him with 2 vehicles! Can he legally do this? The car is in his name and on hp but does it count as a marital asset? Until the last 6 months I've always paid the car loan. Insurance is in my name.

Do I just hand it over to get shot of him and make do with the inconvenience? Or do I have grounds to refuse? One of my children has medical needs and often needs taking to the hospital or doctors at short notice which is 5 miles away or 2 buses.

Any advice grately appreciated.

KindDogsTail Thu 06-Apr-17 22:18:22

I have a strong sense he can't just come over and say the car is his and take it but would have to prove it and even then it could be decided you should have it given the special need you have for it.

Why no just lock it away from him and say itis out of your hands till the court decides?

I am not an expert though. I hope someone with legal knowledge comes on to answer your question.

What you have been through sounds hellish. How wonderful you have got away from it all.

Thattimeofyearagain Thu 06-Apr-17 22:20:46

Id post this in legal.

TokenGinger Thu 06-Apr-17 22:22:31

If the car is in his name, of course he can take it. It could be considered theft if you don't hand it over, or taking without owner's consent.

However, just stop paying the loan. It's not in your name. The credit doesn't reflect on you. Calmly tell him if he wants to take the car, that's fine, but he'll need to meet your daughter's medical needs in the interim, and that you'll no longer be paying money towards the car as you'll be using that to pay for your own finance agreement.

I'm sure he'll soon change his mind.

MartinaMartini Thu 06-Apr-17 22:23:53

Thanks for replying. It seems wrong that he can just do this to me and the kids. Hard to find out where I stand at short notice!

I know he's just doing it out of spite.

KindDogsTail Thu 06-Apr-17 22:40:20

I think you should definitely post this in legal.
I have seen some wonderfully knowledgeable legal answers on mumsnet.

I am not legally trained but I think that when people are married, a thing being in one married partner's name does not necessarily mean it does not belong to the other partner too. I doubt very much that you keeping it is "theft". You had also been the one buying it. Plus you have an ill child who needs taking to the hospital.

Meanwhile you say he has two vehicles, so I presume he can get to work etc. in one of them.

ChristinaParsons Thu 06-Apr-17 22:42:26

The registered keeper is not necessarily the legal owner
Tell him to do one

MartinaMartini Thu 06-Apr-17 22:45:35

I've posted in legal too. I thought marital assets had to be equally split.

It's the effect this will have on the kids that's upsetting me. I know people cope without cars but it's so spiteful.

mrsw14 Thu 06-Apr-17 22:51:00

I don't know where you stand legally, but he's clearly being vindictive and spiting his own children just to control you. Whatever you do don't play into his hands, he wants you to beg for the car and he wants to see you upset. Call his bluff, smile sweetly and say no problem. Hand over the keys, stop paying his HP and find a way to buy your own little car as quickly as possible. He'll soon come back with something else to try and hurt you with, all you can do is take it one thing at a time

KindDogsTail Thu 06-Apr-17 23:06:07

stop paying his HP The OP said she was paying it up until 6 months ago. So she has already stopped paying I think.

Don't get in an argument with him but say the law has to decide. Do you have a lawyer you have been seeing?

AnyFucker Thu 06-Apr-17 23:08:33

I would just tell him to fuck off and bar the door

What can he do ? Fuck all. Call the police if he kicks off.

MartinaMartini Thu 06-Apr-17 23:09:27

No legal representation yet. It's still a fairly recent split. I'm a bit scared of it all becoming so official. I've finally got him out of the house so this is likely a way to get back at me.

I'm no longer paying the loan. He reckons he can't afford it anymore - not that he's paid me a penny since we split. He probably rather have it repossessed that me use it.

abbsisspartacus Thu 06-Apr-17 23:19:49

Get shut of it and anything else you can that he can get at you with

Get your own car he can do fuck all about

mineofuselessinformation Thu 06-Apr-17 23:32:09

Could you contact the loan company and find out if they will take it back, and what the costs are?
If there aren't any, and you can mange without (as difficult as it may be), that might be a way of stopping him in his tracks.

HeavenlyEyes Fri 07-Apr-17 00:03:55

go to the cms and get maintenance claimed and then use the money to buy your own car. He really can fuck right off. Have you spoken to Women's Aid yet - if not do so now and get yourself a SHL pronto. And well done for getting rid of the abusive fucker.

MartinaMartini Fri 07-Apr-17 06:53:44

Thank you. I have spoken to women's aid who have been really helpful. I'm nervous about going to the cms as think this will make him fight harder for access to the children.

Am trying to find one!

TheNaze73 Fri 07-Apr-17 07:35:38

If it's on HP, do you make the payments?

BlackeyedSusan Fri 07-Apr-17 07:43:23

registered keeper and owner of car can be two different things. there was a thread oin legal about it.

MartinaMartini Fri 07-Apr-17 07:47:55

I made the payments for 18 months. This stopped 6 months ago as on mat leave. I also paid the car prior to this which acted as the deposit.

abbsisspartacus Fri 07-Apr-17 07:49:59

If he turns it in and there is a defecit can he come after you for half?

elisa2502 Fri 07-Apr-17 07:51:13

If it's on HP in his name it belongs to him. However tell him as it's his you will no longer be paying the loan. Bet he changes his mind with 2 cars to run. Get yourself another car even if it's only a cheap run around. He's trying to annoy you.

SearchingforGrandparents Fri 07-Apr-17 07:57:06

If the car is in his name and insurance in your name that is called 'fronting' and is illegal. The car's insurance is null & void.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 07-Apr-17 08:01:07

I'm a bit scared of it all becoming so official

That's actually the wrong way round, you know. Until it's official it's just a couple having a spat, one doing spiteful things to hurt and inconvenience the other because he can. Once the forces of law'n'order get in on the act there are rules applied to the whole business. The law may not always work in your favour, but basically it's far more supportive to the one who's in the habit of acting reasonably and in the kids' interests. (I'm assuming you're in the UK, otherwise all the advice you get here is likely to be wildly off the mark!) Doing battle through solicitors is a pain, and an expensive one for the most part, but it beats the hell out of being screamed at on your own doorstep, having the keys wrenched out of your hand etc. That's what the law is for - to make sure things are as fair as possible rather than allowing exes to bring mates round to intimidate you. A couple of six-foot mates in blue on your side works wonders.

Soopermum1 Fri 07-Apr-17 08:12:53

Probably not legally correct but until you can guarantee you have access to another car just drive the car elsewhere and refuse to give him the keys. If he gets aggro then you can call the police. Do not be car-less in your circumstances because it's either the 'right thing to do' , prove a point or cause yourself the least amount of hassle. He will find other ways to upset you. There are times to give in and times to dig in your heels and when the kids suffer as a result of his spitefulness then I would dig in my heels on this occasion

KarmaNoMore Fri 07-Apr-17 08:19:07

If you are married, it doesn't belong to him, it belongs to the two of you. He cannot just take a valuable asset especially when the main beneficiary of having the care are the children.

But, since there is no process open at the moment, or no documented intention to split, it may always be said that he sold the car while you were still in a relationship and get away with it.

If I were you I would hide the car for a few days (he can do nothing about it) until you have got legal advice.

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