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How to say thank you

(13 Posts)
Bones2017 Wed 05-Apr-17 20:43:56

How do I say thank you to my mum and my sister for literally saving my life?

I'm 4 months in from my husband leaving after 19 years (see 'no closure' thread). And during the first 3 months, I've been to some dark places. I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Especially as I got my closure in the end. An OW.

My mum and my sister have dragged me through such a dark time. Having never been through it themselves they just seemed to know what to do or say. They looked after my kids when I literally couldn't, they fed me and hugged me. They just got me. And they didn't let go. When I was suicidal, when I had a nervous breakdown...

How do I ever repay them? How can I ever thank them enough? I know they're family and they wouldn't have done anything different. But I just want them to know how much I love and appreciate them. It's brought us so much closer. I was a horrid teenager to my mum and there's a big age gap between me and my sister. I probably didn't value our relationships as much as I do now. And I just utterly love them so much for getting me through the darkest time in my life. X

JennyHolzersGhost Wed 05-Apr-17 20:47:01

They will know, OP. But if I was one of them I would love to receive a card or letter saying exactly what you've said here. Gestures don't have to be big and flashy to be from the heart. Just write to them about how you feel.
I'm so glad your life is looking up now. flowers stay strong.

PossibiliTea Wed 05-Apr-17 20:47:19

First of all you should give yourself credit for all that you have been through and thinking of others too. You must be a very strong person and the fact you are wanting to repay those you love is amazing.

There are a number of things you could do for them depending on what they like, but it might be worth writing them each a letter telling them what you have told us? And maybe a little token gift with the letter for them to keep and always remember how much you appreciate them?

Obsidian77 Wed 05-Apr-17 20:49:09

Tell them what you've told us.
Just seeing you genuinely happy again one day will probably be all the thanks they need.

PossibiliTea Wed 05-Apr-17 20:49:22

As Jenny says though, they will know and they would not expect anything in return as they are family and they love you.

JigglyTuff Wed 05-Apr-17 20:52:17

What you've says here has made me cry so I can't imagine how they will feel when you tell them. All most of us want in return for kindness is acknowledgement and appreciation. I think your OP has it in spades.

ImperialBlether Wed 05-Apr-17 20:52:28

Write and tell them exactly what you've said here (and apologise for your teenage moods, too!)

Bones2017 Wed 05-Apr-17 20:55:40

A letter sounds like an amazing idea, thank you guys. That's what I'll do. Maybe a necklace for each of us too. For unity. I'm forever grateful to them because I know I'd have ended my life at one point had it not been for them. X

Agatha44 Wed 05-Apr-17 21:04:05

Bones2017 I have been following your thread for a while now. What strikes me about you is that you seem to be a genuinely lovely person despite what you have been through.
I am sure your mother and sister already know how grateful you are for them. I agree with just saying the above to them. They won't be after any thanks because they just want to see you happy again. They have unconditional love for you.
That being said my family have been incredible and I would like to show my appreciation. My house (with my ex) is now being sold so I have decided that I am going to cook a meal for my family on the last weekend in the house as a thanks for everything.
You could do something similar or even just take them out for coffee and cake and say the above to them then!

Bones2017 Wed 05-Apr-17 21:11:16

That's also a lovely idea Agatha. Thank you for your comments. Maybe I could give them their letters at a nice tea out or something.

It's only at times like these that you really realise who's around you isn't it? But I doubt I'll ever be able to repay what they've done for me.

My mum has gone through breast cancer a few years back. I was at every appt with her (being a nurse myself) asking questions and waiting whilst she was in surgery. But now being on the other side of the fence, realising that I wasn't coping or seeing sense during this time in my life, not thinking straight or rationally, wanting to die even - it's only as you start to come out the other side do you realise people's worth. If I never meet another life partner again, I'll be happy knowing that my mum and sister have provided more support and love to me in these past few months than most people need in a lifetime. X

Sickofthisalready Fri 07-Apr-17 08:00:04

I feel the same way about my mum bones, and relate to everything in your original post.

Since my ex left she's been the one there day and night for me and my DS. Ive got friends who have listened but cant really relate, and dont realise that the pain is there 24/7.

My mums the one that will help distract DS when his poor excuse for a father lets him down for the OW, or a night out. She instinctively knows when im slipping too far into that dark place.

I'd love to be able to treat her once im stronger. How big a treat will depend on how badly ex screws us over financially, but she'd be happy with a card.

Isetan Fri 07-Apr-17 08:08:21

This horrible experience has brought you closer to your mother and sister, put it in the bank because even the shittiest of experiences have their upsides.

Chasingsquirrels Fri 07-Apr-17 08:14:23

My mum did this for me when exH left. She was amazing.
She is doing it again now, in a different way, following DH's death.
FWIW I've told her (and lots of other people, and Mumsnet) how much I appreciate her.
I'm loving the idea of a special piece of jewellery and a card.
(I brought her a trowel the other day cos I was shopping with my boys and saw one and remembered her saying she kept mislaying hers in the garden - brought with love, but a trowel all the same!)

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