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How do you deal with a bully

(5 Posts)
Gabby99 Tue 04-Apr-17 17:34:07

My SIL has been gossiping about me for weeks, running me down, complaining I'm not pulling my weight (MIL has been sick). We live 130 miles away but we have went down every weekend. Her DH obviously agrees with, no surprise there. But another BIL who has been staying with them while his mother was sick turned on my DD at the weekend and accused her of something she didn't do. I demanded he retract it and we got an apology. This BIL is normally lovely, I feel she has poisoned his mind with lies about me and he took it out on my DD. I must add that SIL has complained about each and every one of us over the years (including BIL). We have another BIL who has been the target of her viciousness for the past 10 years. Myself and DH have always defended this BIL and tried to keep the peace. Now I am her target. She is a negative person and never seems happy but she is also very convincing. I am due to see them this weekend and I am dreading the thought of it. I know you can't stop people talking about you but the injustice of it all is getting to me. Can anyone offer me any advice? I don't want to contront her. She will just deny she has been complaining about me. She is very intimidating. Please help.

TurnipCake Tue 04-Apr-17 17:43:50

I'd cut that shit out of my life and keep dealings with your MIL only if you can help it.

Trying2bgd Tue 04-Apr-17 17:50:00

Talk to your DH and make plans to put some distance between yourselves and her. It is not possible to change people, they have to want to change themselves. So basically you need to limit exposure to them as much as possible. I wouldn't waste time wondering who has been influenced by her as eventually they will see the light and if not you can't help them. Is there a way you can all get out of this weekend? If not can you limit the time by booking in something else that will force you to leave and avoid staying too long?

NotTheFordType Tue 04-Apr-17 18:01:45

Tit punch?

Gabby99 Tue 04-Apr-17 18:05:42

Hi, thanks for the replies. Yes, I thought the only thing I can do is limit contact, I can do that alright. DH could visit on his own more and I could cut it down to once or twice a month. The only downside is it will give her more ammunition against me. But I cannot face seeing her so much, it's really affecting me. Its the fact that she is bad mouthing me and others are listening to her that's really getting to me but there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.

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