Hi everyone. Please bare with me as this post is going to jump around a lot. Some background first.. DH and i got married just over a year ago and i traveled overseas to live with him, so we have only lived together for 2 months, thanks to long visa processes.
My husband tells me he loves me and does all the right things, but I still got this feeling.. so I checked his phone while he was showering one morning and found messages on his phone from a girl I'd never heard of. The first message started around 2 weeks before I arrived however it was clear that they'd been messaging before this and deleted the history.
First message from her was 'I suppose I'll have to stop messaging when you're wife gets here' he replied no just not in the middle of the night. There'd been maybe 100 texts back and forth since then. Nothing obviously sexual but referencing her as pretty definitely a closeness and flirting in my eyes.
It seems this woman also chose the underwear he bought for me!? He mentions me and says married life is great but I really think that there's been something going on during the visa process. Maybe not sexual but definitely suggestive. He also had messaged other women although not to the same extent saying they could be models or calling them pretty, all the while saying howe much he enjoys his wife here.
The reason I'm not going in guns blazing and asking him about it is because a few months before we got married I had this feeling again and logged into one of his gaming chats. He'd been messaging a gamer friend calling her baby and saying he's always here for her and inviting her to join snapchat. She didn't seem interested but he really was. I confronted him cause I was so angry and he deleted the account and said sorry and that he loves me and he won't do it again and I believed him. But now I'm thinking he has some need to talk to girls online because it's not "real cheating" but it scares me because we first met online so we both know how easy it is to get attached. So he has lied about this sort of thing before. I don't know if he genuinely just dosent know where the line is or is enjoying playing with fire. It's the deleting of messages that worries me the most.
I love this man but we're trying to have kids and I'm really worried about our future. Am I just crazy and jealous or does this sound like something to worry about. I don't want to bring children into a family that will inevitably be torn apart as I'd be going back to my home country if it did. Any imput at all would be appreciated =)
Sorry for the long rant =)
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Should I confront him about texts or am I crazy? Help please
11 replies
Skuddles22 · 03/04/2017 21:29
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.