I've name changed as outing.
I feel so sad, so wretched, jealous, miserable, tired and everything seems so uphill and hopeless.
I'm basically still going through divorce over 2 years after emotionally abusive, controlling and lying Narc DH finally left. He has made nothing easy for me or the children since. He hasn't returned divorce papers, he wouldn't tell me where he was living for months so I couldn't start the divorce process, didn't see the DCs as arranged and then took ME to Court on a bed of lies saying that I had denied access.
Anyway, we have a contact agreement - that he isn't exactly sticking to and getting his family to do most of. One DC won't see him at all. The situation is hard.
He has a new girlfriend. It has been going on since before Christmas and he has included her in all access visits telling DC that she was his brothers gf at first, then 'just a friend' he introduced my DC to her family, he has now finally admitted she is a gf. My poor young DC felt very messed around and lied to and told me he didn't trust his df anymore.
I thought it would be better now in the sense that he would want out of this marriage and move on, stop obsessing with me, but no, no sign of that at all.
Please help with with some positive outlooks. When will this get better? I am exhausted with work, running the home and constant childcare. I feel like I have been running on empty for years. Most friends are married and we have drifted apart - mainly because I never have any time to see them and they just don't 'get' my situation. I feel so alone.
And this is the Head F at the moment - I feel jealous! I keep thinking of them together and it makes me feel wretched. Why is this? I don't love him, can't even hear his voice without my stomach turning (I have gone NC as much as possible), our sex life was awful for years - this man was completely incapable of making anyone else feel good. I don't want him back in any way shape or form, why do I feel so jealous? How do I stop it? It's driving me insane
I also can't believe how any sane woman would want to get involved with him - I know he must be lying about everything but that drives me nuts too! How can he get away with it? Where is the justice?
Thanks so much for reading.
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Please help me shift this wretched feeling
NameWithChange · 03/04/2017 20:38
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