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What do you say to people about NC or LC parents?

(7 Posts)
CaptainWarbeck Mon 03-Apr-17 12:03:38

I'm LC with mine, we have a very superficial relationship. I initiated this to protect myself from their narcissistic behaviour while still enabling some contact with us and young grandchildren.

I never know what to say to acquaintances when they ask about my parents, it's usually the kindly meant 'are they close by, oh that must be such a good help with the young DC'. I've tried brushing it off by saying we're not that close but that seems to get puzzled looks and a change of subject.

I don't want to make people feel awkward but I also don't want to gush and say it's great to have them nearby when it's not. What do you say?

RaeSkywalker Mon 03-Apr-17 12:06:07

We're NC with DH's parents, and have similar "oooh are they nearby?" questions.

Our reply is always "actually, we don't see them". On the rare occasion that people don't get it/ ask more questions, I say "they aren't very nice people".

RaeSkywalker Mon 03-Apr-17 12:07:01

I also sometimes soften it with "but we do have lots of friends nearby, and my parents are local", which tends to reduce the awkwardness.

abbsisspartacus Mon 03-Apr-17 12:41:15

Usually respond with she has her own life she is busy being retired etc

MoosicalDaisy Mon 03-Apr-17 13:08:12

NC with mine. I say they have passed away which is true for one of them

CaptainWarbeck Thu 06-Apr-17 07:55:24

So generally ambiguous then rather than straight out with it.

I like the 'they have their own lives' which is true, and implies they're not that involved without getting into why.

Underthemoonlight Thu 06-Apr-17 08:00:15

We have gone LC but TBH they haven't even noticed 😆 It is an awkward one when people ask. I had to forewarn my family that DH family couldn't be bothered to come to DS 1st birthday celebrations so nothing was said infront of DH and highlighted the situation.

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