Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Just a phase?

(4 Posts)
Misty9 Sun 02-Apr-17 21:04:58

Dh and I have been together 9 years and married 6; two dc under 6. Both work part time (although I'm leaving again soon, ftc) and dh works for himself from home. We relocated to his home area when we had kids, my family are scattered and distant.

We're just not getting on at the moment and I can't figure out if it's a young kids phase, or something more serious. Sex is very rare but that side of things has always been an issue (his initially) and we are usually at least affectionate towards each other (though not so much lately).

An important aspect is that dh, although initially reluctant to have kids, has been utterly and completely fulfilled by becoming a father. It's his whole life, well, that and his work which he also loves doing. He's bloody good at parenting and I often feel lacking in comparison. Motherhood has changed me, of course, but I still feel like me and need the adult connection as well as being parents iykwim.

It doesn't help that I've been really stressed at work and it's a very emotionally draining job, not leaving me much for my family. Dh is away currently and I'm not really missing him... sad
I have thought about what it would be like to separate, and it would destroy the kids and definitely dh. And for what?

So, a small kids phase of marriage? Or not? sad

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sun 02-Apr-17 21:09:42

Don't know, not my marriage....but from what you have said, there is no abuse, or any big issues. It sounds like it would be worth some marriage counselling to see if things could be improved. Also, there used to be/still is something called Marriage Encounter. They do weekends which are designed to improve relationships which sound in a similar position to yours.

Wellitwouldbenice Mon 03-Apr-17 11:13:29

Honestly it sounds like a phase, small kids, work stress etc. But you do need to do something now to find that connection again. Is time together without the kids a possibility? How much have you talked about this?

deste Mon 03-Apr-17 16:58:18

I think once the job goes, the stress etc would go with it. Things will probably improve but if not at least you can rule that out.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: