I'm in my mid 40s, I've got A LOT of personal stuff going on.
My brother is a lot younger than me and he is getting married next year to a girl (who is lovely) who is much younger than him. She could very, very easily be my daughter. She has two younger sisters. My mum has not explicitly but hinted enough (my mum can't keep a secret for toffee) that I'm going to be asked to be a bridesmaid along with her sisters.
I don't want to be a bridesmaid, I'm happy to help, but I feel way to old to be one. I also have the personal stuff which means I don't want to either.
How can I say no to this without really upsetting everyone?
I'm ancient but if your DB wants you to be a bm, is it only feeling old that's stopping you? I've been at weddings where the BM was 6 months pg, divorced, 40 - seriously, are you just worried you are to old? You're not and the rules are rubbish. If you really don't want to, of course that's fine but I wouldn't let an arbitrary number or outdated sense of 'appropriateness' hold me back
I was asked to be a bridesmaid for my sister but didn't want to do it as my first baby was due just a few weeks prior to the wedding. No one seemed upset and I offered to do a reading in the church instead.
I was a pregnant bridesmaid at my brothers wedding - 22 wks and really didn't want to be one. But at the end of the day it was their daily and I just sucked it up, I didn't want to cause any bad feelings. You won't really be required to do much - a couple of days out to pick dresses if that. Up to you and depends on how you think they will take it but I'd personally just do it
I turned down my brothers offer to be bridesmaid some years ago. I had various reasons to do this, but one of the factors in my favour was distanced - I lived in Cornwall at the time so fittings etc would have been impossible. I had to repeatedly say no and express that it was not personal or intended to be offensive but my preference was not to be a bridesmaid. They took it in the end, there were some comments on the day from interferring rellies but I stick by my decision. Stick by yours.