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Advice almost a year on

(8 Posts)
withaspongeandarustyspanner Sun 02-Apr-17 14:39:24

STBX H is an arsehole of enormous proportions. I can't honestly express how idiotic he is.

Anyway, he's reduced CSA payments as much as can (just over £300 for 4 kids under 12), but he had said that he would pay to cover things like uniform and school trips.

Anyway, went to collect daughter who wanted to come home early, and the money he said he would pay (deposit for a school trip and some sponsorship money which I paid on his behalf - otherwise kids couldn't go on school trip), he's now refusing to pay, saying that something's have happened recently that he doesn't agree with and he's decided not to pay.

I realise there's nothing I can do. But I'm frustrated with how much of a man's world it is, and I felt the need to post. I'm close to tears but trying not to cry.

withaspongeandarustyspanner Sun 02-Apr-17 14:40:17

But any advice on how to deal with this would be great.

Guiltypleasures001 Sun 02-Apr-17 14:43:58

Hey op

The n,y any to deal with this p, I'm afraid is gong to come across as harsh

But, don't book anything until you have his money, in fact don't rely on his money full stop, that way when he lets you down, it doesn't cause a problem.

If you can do the above and not rely on him for anything, it hurts less when he fails your kids.

It's hard I know, he doesn't have the same priorities you do, if you let it this sort of thing will drive you nuts, and cause you a lot of stress. 💐

jeaux90 Sun 02-Apr-17 15:00:37

That something he doesn't agree with, is he basically saying he is not paying for them because of something they did or you did?

I would only commit to something for them when he has given you the money.

withaspongeandarustyspanner Sun 02-Apr-17 15:10:06

Something I've done, I think. But this is only a guess because he refused to tell me what it was.

jeaux90 Sun 02-Apr-17 18:36:12

He won't tell you. Ok so a controlling arsehole of enormous proportions!

Not sure why the maintenance is so low!

RandomMess Sun 02-Apr-17 18:39:19

Just go to CMS and get what you are entitled (even if it's less) because it will be legally enforced and you can rely on it.

So sorry that he is a controlling abusive b*astard, thank goodness you are free!

Bubblebath01 Sun 02-Apr-17 20:25:45

Most schools have policies, contact the head. They are generally very understanding and will want to ensure the children are not deprived of opportunities, whatever the circumstances. 😘

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