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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I underestimated my Ex

15 replies

stuckwithnowheretogo · 02/04/2017 12:08

I only posted here yesterday about my Ex still trying to control me.
My friends have been concerned about my Ex since we split up (one installing a key box by her back door) but I have never shared their concerns. I know he gets angry but I never feared for my safety mores for what he would do to himself.
Last night he popped in to discuss DS upcoming exams. He invited me to his Mums birthday lunch today which I declined because I know she has said some pretty nasty things about me but is sweetness & light to my face. I also feels it sends the wrong message to him & DC.
He snapped.
I've never seen him like that before. He threw my glass of red wine across the kitchen, there is wine & glass everywhere.
He smashed my handbag against the wall.
He tried to strangle me. I had to run upstairs.
I'm shell shocked.
26 years.

OP posts:

Report

ImperialBlether · 02/04/2017 12:12

You have called the police, haven't you?

Imbroglio · 02/04/2017 12:13

Jeez. Did you call the police? Have you seen a doctor about the strangulation? Please consider making these steps.

(Not sure what you mean by the key box? Is that for your safety?)

Change your locks if you need to and don't let him in the house again.

Obsidian77 · 02/04/2017 12:13

Sorry to hear this op, hope you have reported this to the police.

BusyHomemaker · 02/04/2017 12:43

I agree with pp' s you must report this to the police. Do you have anyone with you now?

Thefutureisbright2017 · 02/04/2017 12:54

I read your post yesterday OP, time to take a firm stance. The police have been involved before so definately report this too. This can only get worse he can see you slipping away from his control and doesnt like it and he's a dangerous man. For your DS sake and yours don't let him in your house again. Cut all contact to txt do arrange visitation of son and change locks if needs be.

Imbroglio · 02/04/2017 22:44

Are you OK, stuck?

Jux · 03/04/2017 00:29

If youen't called the police yet, do it now.

Really hope you're safe.

Inertia · 03/04/2017 08:35

Trying to strangle you is an enormously dangerous escalation. Have you called the police yet?

Have you seem a doctor about possible neck injuries?

stuckwithnowheretogo · 04/04/2017 16:33

Sorry for the late update & thank you all.
I managed to get away for a few days but couldn't remember my password to log in via my phone !
I have spoken to the police and they are intending on interviewing him this evening - they were very helpful & already have a log from when they were called out before. The irony is that he is actually due in court next week for grabbing a cinema employee by the throat when he was refused entry.
I have had lots of 'sorry , I don't know what came over me' texts and then quite unbelievably a text offering to take me on holiday !

I haven't answered any calls or texts since Saturday evening. Friends have code 'knock' on the door & if i get a knock i don't recognise I put the chain on before answering.

Thank you all once again

OP posts:

MusicIsMedicine · 04/04/2017 16:51

Do not let this man back into the property. He will kill you next time he snaps.

RayofFuckingSunshine · 04/04/2017 17:14

Have you seen a doctor to get checked out? The effects of strangulation even where there are no outward signs can be severe and delayed.

Also, please please keep away from this man. Do not let him back into your home. If he arrives, call the police. No chances. Strangulation is the biggest predictor for future lethal violence. Women's aid may be a good place for you to call and get some RL support.

blackteasplease · 04/04/2017 17:37

Please don't ever let him in or be jn a room alone with him again

xStefx · 04/04/2017 19:16

I'm so glad you phoned the police op. He needs to be taught he can't do things like that to people. That's disgusting . Hope your ok x

Jux · 06/04/2017 17:35

Thanks for updating; I'm very relieved to hear from you!

He is clearly very dangerous to you as well as to others. Please revise your expectations of him, and put him firmly in a box marked "dangerous! Only open in the presence of others" and never let him indoors again.

I hope you had a quiet and peaceful few days. Keep your wits about you this evening in particular, have your phone fully charged and in credit and keep it with you at all times.

Dontaskmegoogleit · 06/04/2017 18:08

Take care and stay no contact.
Good riddance is all I can say, and I'm glad you are taking care of your safety.
Remember it will all be a bad dream one day x

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