A few months ago I was sexually assaulted by someone I thought I knew well and although what physically happened wasn’t super “serious” it upset me a lot. I’ve had to keep it a secret from basically everyone I know because of who did it, who is someone I still see a lot, and it’s caused a lot of confusing feelings.
Anyway, I decided to get counselling just to have a space to talk about it. The counsellor was very shocked about what happened and was very vocal about how bad she thought it was and how I should report it. I will never report it - I have my reasons and it’s complicated. I have had counselling before for other issues and my experience is that counsellors let you take the lead and are guided by you. This one wasn’t like that. She was very vocal about the fact that by not reporting it I was putting other women at risk. She also had theories about why he did it and what it meant. Obviously I have thought about that a lot myself but it was quite upsetting to hear, and it wasn’t really based on anything I had told her (I don’t think). She also told me I had “Stockholm Syndrome” - again, based on what? I felt really uncomfortable about what she was saying and how she was saying it and have cancelled further session.
Is this usual when counselling sexual abuse/assault victims? I really do want to talk about it to someone but now I am scared to go to another counselling in case it is the same and makes me feel worse. I already feel guilty enough for not reporting it, but because the situation is so sensitive I really, really can’t.
Thanks.
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Are counsellors supposed to say things like this?
32 replies
user1476651402 · 02/04/2017 10:15
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