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(2 Posts)
Hopethisoneisnottaken Sat 01-Apr-17 16:30:57

Warning... long post...Ok so I had a friend... was DH friend then became mine after we got married. went on for 8 odd years. we weren't close but met up every few weeks either when the whole group went out or someone arranged a get-together at their place.

we weren't particularly close but she was one of handful who i could call a friend. she knew i had no family or emotional support.

i knew my place in her life as if in a group she would prefer to talk to others. she is an extrovert and has loads of friends. our time alone would be limited to a few hours if we went out for a meal etc where everything we order should be her choice and she wasnt shy about calling another friend while i am sitting across the table from her. God forbid I order a dish of my choice she would not stop moaning about it.

times i have helped her with her kids parties... she seems excited that i am coming to help but soon makes me feel that i can't do anything right that i actually come out of it feeling useless. and trust me her parties are a big affair and she needs all the help she can get.

so I was ok with all this.

but last xmas when my newborn was 40 days old, she arranges a get-together at her on xmas day. but calls me on xmas eve moaning how no one brings a dish. so i offer to make something but i need ingredients from shop. so i tell her. but she doesn't stop me. so i take my 2 yr old and new born to shop on xmas eve to buy ingredients just so i take a dish to her house.

so we get there and she's prepared a lot of food with help of another friend. but when we get in i get a cold welcome. so they all just sitting down to eat and my newborn starts crying. so my dh's brother who has never been so see baby and hates my Dh insists that my hubby pick baby up and rock baby and walk around while they all eat. my brother in law basically doesnt want my hubby to sit down with them.

so i firmly tell mu bil that we do not want to rock baby when she cries as then she gets into that habit and that at home i let her cry for sometime. my friend heard this and asked me to repeat what i said. she then went on to say a good mother would never do that and how she wud never get peace if her baby was crying. i also had a csec so preferred to sit at table while they sat on hubby being overweight also was struggling to sit on floor but still did.
but she commented that she was hoping everyone sit on floor but half the people cant sit on floor.

i didnt say anything then and went on to behave like everything is ok. but since then i have cut ties with her. she has noticed but i havent given her a reason. i exchange pleasantries when i see her which is very rare. but for a long time i doubted myself thinking that IABU!to end friendship. mainly because i feel so lonely and dont have any other friend...and that I should let it go. so AIBU to end my friendship with her?

NotTheFordType Sat 01-Apr-17 16:36:26


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