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Found a vibrator...

(65 Posts)
BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:42:33

It's a bit of a WWYD one.
Dh works away a lot but is back home at the moment. I went to get something out of his suitcase last night and found a brand new vibrator.
He has come home a couple of times previously with toys so this discovery wasn't a big shock. The thing that has got me wondering though is that it is a very different style to what I've said I like to use, also that we had sex last night (after my discovery) and used my vibe but he didn't mention the new one at all.

So what do I do? I feel I have 2 options. Either keep quiet and wait to see if I notice anything else dodgy, see if it disappears etc.
Or come out and ask him about it. I'm not entirely convinced I would get the truth out of him if he did have something to hide though.

Not even really sure why I'm posting...

SaltySeaDog72 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:45:31

Gosh.. tricky. Do you have any other reason to doubt his fidelity?

Not great that you can't trust him to be honest - why is that - does he have form for lying about stuff?

BrutusMcDogface Sat 01-Apr-17 15:46:57

Did he buy it for himself, maybe? blush

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:50:16

He did lie a lot in the past, some quite elaborate ones. Nothing in the past 6 years though. I just feel that if he was up to something he wouldn't immediately admit to it. I don't know though which is why I haven't asked yet. I don't feel like he's been much different recently but he would have plenty of opportunity to cheat if he felt like it.

It could be for him I suppose, but I like to think he'd be able to tell me about that to stop any confusion.

PointlessUsername Sat 01-Apr-17 15:51:37

I would just ask him outright.

NameChangeShamed Sat 01-Apr-17 15:53:05

Are we talking like a rabbit or a small bullet type?

Could you possibly wait until he's present and make a reason to go into his bag, see if he panics knowing it's there?

PamDooveOrangeJoof Sat 01-Apr-17 15:55:36

I would wait and see if anything else crops up. If you mention it he will say he bought it for you and not much you can say to that.
Is it still in packaging?if he'd bought it to cheat wouldn't he have used it?
I'd stay quiet and see if he picks if for his next trip!!!

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:56:32

It's one of those ones styled to look like the real thing. Not my cup of tea and he knows that.

I suppose I could do that later and see what he says. He's very scatty though and could easily have forgotten it's there.
I could be making a big deal over nothing and he's just forgotten I don't like them and forgotten to give it to me. I just don't know.
We've had some ups and downs over the past couple of years and I don't have sex as often as he'd like. I want to trust him though.

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:57:47

PamDooveOrangeJoof that's exactly why I haven't asked because it would be so easy to say "oh it's for you" and then I'd never know either way.

CharlieSierra Sat 01-Apr-17 15:57:55

Wait and see what he does with it. When you say brand new, in unopened packaging?

UndersecretaryofWhimsy Sat 01-Apr-17 15:59:02

Tbh my assumption would be that it's more likely to be for his own stimulation than for using on someone else. Lots of men are into anal stimulation but wouldn't necessarily want to discuss that even with their partner/wife. And it's sensible to have a different vibrator for that kind of thing!

Ask him.

happypoobum Sat 01-Apr-17 16:16:52

I absolutely would NOT mention it at this stage as whatever his reason, all you will get is "Oh yes it's for you."

I would bide my time and see if it gets packed away at home but never brought out for use with you (probably for him) or see if it disappears completely (given to OW?)

Good luck flowers

ImperialBlether Sat 01-Apr-17 16:18:15

Is it out of its packaging?

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 16:20:37

It's still in the packaging.
I think I will not mention it for now and see what happens.

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 16:21:35

Would you be able to return an unused vibrator?

ImperialBlether Sat 01-Apr-17 16:25:50

Can you check your online bank statement to find out when it was bought?

debbs77 Sat 01-Apr-17 16:26:29

Definitely don't mention it!

Beelzebop Sat 01-Apr-17 16:32:41

Surely it's for you? X

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 16:37:37

No sign of it on bank statement so he's either used his own account or paid cash.

If it was for me I would have thought he'd give it to me last night. Unless he's forgot?

ImperialBlether Sat 01-Apr-17 16:58:47

Why don't you take the batteries out of your vibrator and say "Oh no, the batteries are flat!" and see whether he mentions the other one?

NameChangeShamed Sat 01-Apr-17 17:27:52

What ImperialBlether said is a good idea!

Or maybe say you'd be interested in trying another type.. and shamelessly describe the type in his bag and see if he mentions it? Only problem then is you'll have to take it on the chin and give it a whirl if it's for you confused

BigBrownSofa123 Sat 01-Apr-17 17:30:11

I can't say that as mine is a charger jobby, and I can't think of anything I would need from his suitcase to ask if I can go and get. It's just his work gear.

loveyoutothemoon Sat 01-Apr-17 17:38:49

Just ask him

SandyY2K Sat 01-Apr-17 17:39:04

Take a photo of it, in case he denies it's existence.

Is it brand new? I'd say nothing for another couple of weeks and quietly investigate.

This reminds me of a thread I read elsewhere. The woman found a vibe in her DHs briefcase (he had form for cheating) and rubbed jalapeño pepper on it. When someone suggested it might actually be for her DH to use on himself, her response? "That's fine, it can light up his ass too"

StartledByHisFurryShorts Sat 01-Apr-17 17:45:17

Has he bought any sex toys recently? My boyfriend recently bought some stuff from Lovehoney and got a "Dream Rabbit" as a free gift for spending over a certain amount.

He gave it to me but quickly explained that it was free because he knows rabbits aren't really my thing.

Just wondering if your chap has found himself in possession of a free vibrator and got cold feet about giving it to you.

But, you know, just ask him. Unless there's other stuff going on which is making you suspicious.

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