Opinions please - is it 'improper' to have the phone numbers of your 17 year old sons 4 best friends on your phone?

[thegirlfromthehill]

Hello :)
I'd love to get some feedback on this one please. My partner is going mad because I have the mobile numbers of my 17 year old son's four best friends on my phone. I have explained that they are there for emergencies only - but he says that this is 'improper, undignified' and that I am 'humiliating him' by having these numbers.He won't even countenance me keeping them in a diary somewhere - not that I have conceded to taking them off my phone at all, because I believe that I am, in fact, being a responsible parent by having them in the first place.

But what do you all think? I am behaving improperly, or responsibly, by doing this?

My partner and I have been together for 3 years - he has no children whereas I have two super teenage sons, who have done nothing but support my relationship with my partner.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts )

[Squeegle]

He sounds a bit unhinged to be honest, of course it's perfectly ok.

[Squeegle]

Is he completely normal otherwise?

[Crispsheets]

He sounds deranged

[sucue]

Sounds sensible to me. Why would it be improper? Does your partner think you might "accidentally" sext on of them?

[Cocolepew]

Of course its ok.

[BlueNeighbourhood1]

I don't have children, however I don't think it's unreasonable at all?

My brother is 24 and my Mum still has his best friends number in her phone for emergencies. It's practical rather than anything else.

What does your husband actually think you're going to do with these numbers??

[Gamtanner]

He's being bonkers. It's a completely normal thing you're doing. I presume you never use the numbers? It's literally just in case something awful happens (God forbid).

[Floggingmolly]

What sort of contact does he imagine you'll have with these kids?

[EllaHen]

Totally sensible to have your children's friends contact details.

Utterly unreasonable of your partner to make such dickhead comments about dignity and impropriety.

Please don't give in to his demands.

[pringlecat]

Have you ever actually used them?

YANBU if and only if, you would genuinely only use those numbers in a real emergency. You hope there will never be one, but it's always good to have a plan for the worst.

If you're texting your DS's mates to say "DS is 5 minutes late, do you know where he is?" then of course YABU.

[christmaswreaths]

He's been weird. Is he jealous of 17 year old boys??

[WatchingFromTheWings]

He sounds jealous! Nothing wrong with having your sons friends numbers.

[exexpat]

Not only are you not being unreasonable for having whatever numbers you want/think you might need on your phone, but how and why does he even know what numbers are on your phone? Let alone care?

I have to agree with previous poster that he sounds deranged - "humiliating" for him? Wtf?

[ScarlettFreestone]

Erm what weird about that? I'm in my 40s and my Mum
and Dad have several of our friend's numbers in their mobile phones for one reason or another.

I'd be extremely concerned about your partner's thought process here - he's jealous of these boys.

He thinks of them as competitors while you think of them as children.

That's not healthy.

I think that would entirely change the way I looked at that person.

[KoalaDownUnder]

That's batshit.

[goodpiemissedthechips]

He's being ridiculous.

My son is still too young to have his own phone so I have his friends' parents' numbers in my phone, but I assume once they all start getting their own phones I'll have a few of their numbers stored away.

Not because I have any intention of calling them of course, just in case someday I can't get in touch with DS and his phone is switched off and it starts getting late or something and I start to worry. It would be logical in that kind of scenario to call his friends rather than his 17yo friends' parents, surely?

I don't understand the 'undignified' bit. He doesn't know much about the realities of motherhood if he thinks THAT'S undignified!

[kittybiscuits]

I could only assume your partner has an inappropriate interest in 17 year olds and is projecting insanely.

[apotheke]

It shouldn't even need stated that there is nothing the slightest bit inappropriate or unusual about you having the numbers of your DCs friends. The way he has described it makes him seem unhinged and dangerously possessive and controlling. Hope you are ok.

[carabos]

I wish I'd had the numbers of DS2's best friends when he went missing one night having had too much to drink / been spiked and nobody knew if he was safe for 4 hours. If I'd had those numbers I might have found him sooner and saved myself, DS1 and DH (who was abroad at the time and beside himself) the worst night of our lives. But that's just me.

Your DH is a tit. One day you're going to need those numbers, for good or ill.

[NorfolksGiven]

Lol at accidentally sexting

[TheMysteriousJackelope]

It sounds sensible to me, especially for older teens who are likely to be doing things like going away for an activity weekend or going out late in the evening. If your DS's phone dies you have the other numbers if you need to reach him in an emergency.

Your partner has a very strange view of it all. Does he think you're some kind of hebephile? Yuck and ugh.

[exexpat]

Just wondering - are you allowed to have the phone numbers of any adult males in your phone?

[GahBuggerit]

Red flag op

[ShootFruit]

Yep, he's odd!

[JK1773]

He sounds bonkers! It's perfectly reasonable and responsible to have those numbers. What on earth does he think you are going to do with them??