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He's leaving

(10 Posts)
zozozoo Fri 31-Mar-17 11:53:13

So my husband moved us and the kids abroad for a better life. We married so I would have some security if things went wrong.

After a year of abusive behaviour from him beginning the day I moved he's now decided to leave me because I didn't get a full time job (despite the fact that I was not aware that this was a requirement and do work part time which he made me think was fine).

So I'm having to move house yet again, having to find full time work, having to cope with losing the bastard who occasionally was nice. I'm not confident at the best of times and finding work is difficult because of this and because I'll be at a constant disadvantage due to my not being a local. I don't know where to start or what to do.

Has anyone been through similar?

Bluntness100 Fri 31-Mar-17 11:57:10

What do you mean a requirement? I don't think you can be splitting up as you weren't working full time work if you never discussed this.

He's leaving but you have to move? Does this mean the family home is no longer sustainable and as such uou all have to move.

How old are your children? And have you seen a solicitor to understand what is due to you? And can you come back to the uk?

hellsbellsmelons Fri 31-Mar-17 12:05:03

Well it's not a better life is it?
Move back to your home country with the DC and start again away from this asshole.
Do you have family or friends who can help you with this?

flumpybear Fri 31-Mar-17 12:06:15

I'd be moving back to my own country - sounds like you're better off without him!

zozozoo Fri 31-Mar-17 12:28:35

Myself and kids don't need a 4 bed rented house he's decided to offer less than half of what he earns each month to live on so we'd be pretty skint unless we move. I could go back but I really don't want my dd to move to yet another school. This one is her third. We've made friends here...

zozozoo Fri 31-Mar-17 12:34:31

You're right though bluntness maybe I should contact family and a solicitor. I try to sort things out myself usually!

PaterPower Fri 31-Mar-17 13:18:11

"he's decided to offer less than half of what he earns each month to live on"

I don't know what the law stipulates in the country you're living in, but it would be rare for someone to be able to give half (or more) their net salary and still be able to feed, clothe and house themselves.

Are you eligible for any State assistance? Getting legal advice has to be your priority.

zozozoo Fri 31-Mar-17 13:39:17

No benefits available as we are not from here. He earns enough though I haven't done the sums yet. My few hundred a month wages help

unfortunateevents Fri 31-Mar-17 13:46:03

I think you should seriously consider coming back to the UK, or at least investigate it thoroughly. Am I correct in thinking that you have been in this county for about a year? In which case, you could come back to the UK and your DD (and you) would, I am sure, adjust pretty quickly. Could you return to your original area and your DD go back to her old school? Do you have family support here? Is your remaining abroad dependant on you working/having a visa? If you cannot do that, what will happen in a no-benefits situation?

zozozoo Fri 31-Mar-17 14:38:09

It's unlikely to impossible that we could afford the same area now and tbh I didn't really have any friends around there anyway having moved so many times myself. I can stay here but finding better work is much easier if I stay married to someone who is allowed to work here. Without benefits I'll have to find more hours of work and rely on the 'D'h to support us in the meantime. Family is back in the UK but we speak regularly.

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