I am not sure if my husband has been emotionally abusing me. These following things have become quite normal, although I have realised that they are not always normal. I am very confused, and would really appreciate opinions on this. I have made a list of things (see below), which are ways he behaves towards/around me.
He does the following:
Refuses to sit next to me, and insists that I sit on the other sofa, (says he needs room around him for his laptop, other things, etc.. Actually tells me to move, and insists that I do, if I don't straight away, while making a joke of it, even if I say that seriously I would like him to sit with me. This is very hurtful, but he doesn't seem to care at all that it upsets me.
Doesn't show me affection. Only really initiates physical contact with me privately, when he wants sex.
Isn't very supportive of my ideas, particularly my recent business idea, that I am trying to make work. Doesn't take it seriously, or acknowledge that I am working. Actually came home and asked me, when I was literally elbow deep in work, if I was going to go and sort the washing. When I asked if he could do it, he said he'd been working all day. He blanked me when I said I had been working all day too.
No faith in my ideas or abilities, it seems, and shows little to no interest in anything I do.
Seems often irritated by me, especially if I am just being myself. Tells me not to talk, (actually said 'don't speak' two nights ago, but this happens regularly,) when I am reading something back to myself, or just muttering something to myself, like counting when double checking something, for example. This seems to happen a lot.
Refuses to take a call for me if I am struggling with something, and complains that he 'always' has to answer the phone, when in reality, it is once in a blue moon, and I'd it for him.
Often doesn't answer when I talk to him /blanks me completely.
Has made comments about my appearance. Called my nose 'bulbous' and laughed. Has encouraged me to weigh myself in the past, which I was actually doing for a while, but I have stopped as I felt it was unfair and not particularly normal for him to ask me to do it.
Refused to let me have a divorce a few years ago, and put a lot of pressure emotionally on me to put me off leaving. Told me that he would feel resentment if I moved to another town with the kids, and that he would probably not see them if I did that.. despite the fact that I would have fully co-operated in him being able to regularly see them. Constantly picked fights with me when I said I wanted to leave, till I broke down and agreed to stay.
He has total financial control, and his family support him fully, and are quite financially comfortable. I agreed to sign myself off the mortgage on our home back when I had asked for a divorce. I foolishly thought this would help me and my kids get re-housed by the council, but I ended up staying anyway, and he was happy for me to be off the mortgage. Now I realise that I made a big mistake doing that.
Shouts at me often.
Tells me that I am shouting when I am upset but I am talking in a calm voice.
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Is this emotional abuse?
12 replies
user1490954378 · 31/03/2017 11:19
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