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Relationships

Feel lost and hoping to find reassurance

2 replies

LittleMissSleepyyy · 31/03/2017 00:10

Hello,

I've never posted on here before, or any forum actually but I'm hoping to find some reassurance. (I'm really rubbish with all the lingo too e.g. DD, DP etc. Also, I'll try and keep to the point and not give an essay.

I have a wonderful 6 month old daughter and have no bad/negative feelings on her part. Since being pregnant my partner and I have been up and down and it seems to be getting worse. He keeps saying it's my hormones or my head which frustrates me even more as I don't think it is 100%.

We barely have conversations, he's always on his phone or wanting to play his Xbox and not helping much around the house. I feel so lonely and like I've lost myself. Will things get better?! I don't feel like I'm fun anymore and lost my sense of humour. Everything makes me angry or sad and I'm feeling resentful towards my partner. I know it's both of us with the problem but I feel I have no support. I should go to the doctors, I've been putting it off a while now but I'm getting to the point where I'm crying everyday and I'm pretty much white noise to my partner so I cry on my own. It doesn't help I'm exhausted and struggle to sleep before getting up to do the night feeds.

I just want to feel happy again and be the best mummy I can be, it's not fair on my little girl.

Please, if anybody has been through this, how did you get through it and out the other side?


Ps, I have posted this in the postnatal section too as I'm hoping I'll gets response from someone

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8FencingWire · 31/03/2017 00:57

Hi,
Having a newborn is exhausting. Without support and with this massive responsability on your shoulders, combined with the lack of sleep and time for yourself...well, you get the picture, it's not easy.

Yes, there is an other side. It'll be fine, you'll get to feel human again. It takes a bit of time. It goes really fast, this whole raising a child business, before you know it she'll be all grown up and independent. But you must also look after yourself. Your partner is not acting like a partner, more like a child. Ignoring you being upset and crying shows he doesn't care, I'm afraid. You obviously need support, we all do, he is not being supportive, he's just selfish.
I found my support network in fellow mums. Years and years later, my selfish manchild is gone, my friendship with the mums I met when I had my DD is very strong. Rely on yourself most and foremost. Look after yourself, let your partner feed the baby at night if you can express (that's if you're breastfeeding). Devise a little routine, I found it helps. Talk to people, don't keep it to yourself. You'll get through this :)

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LittleMissSleepyyy · 31/03/2017 01:25

Thank you for your reply. I really hope to get to that other side soon, I don't want to wish my daughters age away as I love watching her grow and develop, it's just everything else around me that's the problem.

My partner says he cares, if he didn't he'd just leave, that's what he keeps telling me. He thinks it's all me, my head and hormones but I know it's not.

I guess I'll just have to wait to reach the other side and find any way possible to make it a little easier :)

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