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How to respond to cruel emotional bullying

(9 Posts)
MuckedUpAgain Thu 30-Mar-17 22:46:25

When I started crying earlier because he'd been so nasty to me (emotional abuse / blackmail/ name calling) DP just sneered at me and said 'that's what your mother does, just sits there and cries'.

My mother is 84 years old and has severe / advanced dementia.

I feel I've reached rock bottom and simply can't live with him any more. In the meantime, what on earth is the right way to respond to this type of remark?

I have v low self esteem and just don't know what to say to him without screaming obscenities, and would prefer not to do that with dc around. sad

Can anyone suggest some retorts to put him in his place and convey my loathing for him?

I am hoping to gather enough resources mentally and physically to make him leave or leave myself. I just cant bear to be near him any more and asked him to go into spare room tonight ( he refused for ages- he minimises my feelings and acts like my wishes just don't count) where he will hopefully stay until he's gone god good.

howdiditgettothis Thu 30-Mar-17 22:59:43

That sounds really awful of him. I don't think there is any return remark you could make that would make any difference. I've learned this myself the hard way. Just get on and do the right thing. Once he's out of your life you will be so much happier and your self esteem will have space to grow again.

Moanyoldcow Thu 30-Mar-17 23:01:57

Just leave him. There is no reason to stay with someone so cruel. Make a plan, get your shit together and move on.

springydaffs Thu 30-Mar-17 23:07:45

I agree it's a waste of breath to retort. He really isn't worth any more of your time or headspace.

Do the Freedom Programme love. It'll sort out your head and you will get first class support to get this horribly cruel man out of your life for good. Your self esteem will go up like a rocket once you get rid of him xx

newdaylight Thu 30-Mar-17 23:10:39

Contact women's centre or women's aid. Leaving him is easier said than done but they can give you support and guidance to do it

Potplant Thu 30-Mar-17 23:20:20

Nothing you say will make any difference, probably just make him say something worse to 'win'.
Best thing is to not engage in it. I used to say 'hmmm, I think you're right' and walk away when he said something horrible to me.
Plus makes plans as everyone else has said.

MichaelSheensNextDW Fri 31-Mar-17 00:12:09

As pp said, contact women's aid and get help to leave. Don't lower yourself to his shitty level by trying to outsmart his nasty comments. There's a phrase that goes something like, 'don't play in the mud with a pig, you'll both get dirty and the pig likes it'.

springydaffs Fri 31-Mar-17 00:12:50

But don't tell him your plans whatever you do! Just quietly get on with making plans - and keep them to yourself xx

Aquamarine1029 Fri 31-Mar-17 00:29:03

Don't waste your time with retorts. They don't work with cruel morons. Your response should be leaving his sorry ass and never looking back.

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