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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Do you think there is any chance we might get together?

13 replies

user1490538976 · 29/03/2017 18:21

We had known each other over 10 years,had feelings for each other but due to circumstances we never got together.
We were friends but sometimes he crossed the line in regards to talking about how he felt.
He had a gf and child and I had bf eventually so I told him we had to remain friends only.
Anyway he told me he loved me but our friendship ended badly about a year and a bit ago.
He lives near to me and about 4 months ago I split and 1 month ago he split up with partner.
I know it's stupid but I can't help thinking what if any feelings were remaining,could we ever give it a go.
We haven't spoke for so long now and it's awkward,I wouldn't have the courage to talk to him and I doubt he would either.
I know sleepy dogs should lie but after all this time I've still got a part of me that will always have something for him.

OP posts:

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Angleshades · 29/03/2017 18:25

It depends what you fell out about. If the argument can be resolved then why not just send a message asking how he is and if he fancies a catch up.

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user1490538976 · 29/03/2017 18:27

We fell out because he said us being friends was messing with head.
So we cut off communication as I think we both knew we would never just be "friends" but now as we both are single it's put the idea in my head to build bridges.

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Ellapaella · 29/03/2017 18:28

Would you want to be with someone who was confessing he had feelings for you when he was in a relationship with someone else? From your post it looks like that was the case? Would you be able to trust someone like that?

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JK1773 · 29/03/2017 18:28

He's only recently separated and so are you. Be careful you don't rush headlong into something. I'd give it a while personally before contacting him. It's a risk overall and you might get hurt but you won't know if you don't ask

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SmokedGlass · 29/03/2017 18:28

As simple as Angleshades says
You have nothing to Los

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user1490538976 · 29/03/2017 18:31

I think as it is recent he will probably be messed up for a while and maybe now isn't the right time.
Maybe there never will be.
I kind of wish I could bump into him and just say hello.
He might not even like me anymore it's been around 15 months.
I don't know if I would trust him,my ex literally left me overnight so I'm not sure I can trust anyone at the minute.

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TFPsa · 29/03/2017 22:29

Sounds reasonably promising to me if you're both single?

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DarklyDreamingDexter · 29/03/2017 22:40

Nothing ventured nothing gained. If you wait too long to get in touch he might meet someone else in the meantime. You could drop him a line, say you've been wondering how he's doing and casually mention you're single and see how he reacts.

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Thattwatoverthere · 29/03/2017 22:45

Personally, I'd message him. But I'm not renowned for my good decisions so you might not want to listen to me.

If you feel you couldn't trust him though, give it a bit of time and see how you feel then. I'm pretty good for fixating on 'the one that got away' when a relationship ends, sometimes the feeling goes away. If it doesn't maybe you need to message him to see where it goes. Could be a winner?

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ladylambkin · 29/03/2017 23:15

Message him. I am now seeing a friend that I've known for 4 years. Like you our circumstances meant we were always just friends but now we are both single we are free to pursue something different. I already love him but just need to wait and see if I can be in love with him too

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outabout · 29/03/2017 23:20

You'll never know unless you try.
Keeping it light and undemanding shouldn't create an immediate problem.

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HarmlessChap · 29/03/2017 23:50

Life is too short for what ifs! Message him and see how it goes. It might be good, it might be a disaster but unless you try you'll always be wondering.

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user1490538976 · 30/03/2017 10:22

I'm going out Saturday night so I might wait till I've had a couple of drinks.
We had always been nervous with each other and then the first time me and him were alone together we got on so well.
So comfortable with each other and this will sound mega cheesy and I'm cringing as I type but it just felt right ..
We had always been friendly but that night we kind of felt like more ..hugging and cuddling kissing etc ..then reality set in and that was the last time I seen him.
I hate that feeling of what if things had been different and we got together ..would we have still been together etc.
We are both 30s now he is 36 and I'm 31 (too old for teenage rubbish ) but I remember our first kiss I was 18 and he as 24 ..as he walked away he said "you will be mine one day) ( I'm cringing again)
I guess if nothing ever happens again,it's nice to have had nice memories that make you smile