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I don't know what to do

(7 Posts)
illstopatone Wed 29-Mar-17 14:36:45

Me and DH have been married a year almost two. In this one year we have never lived together. I found out that he lives with a woman in London and they had an affair and she's the co director for his company.
This lady messaged me and said they had s brief affair it's over and it's all work now.
I then had a fling lasting a month which my hubby found out about and stopped coming home altogether.
His business is in London n he used to come home on the weekends only. The plan was to move to London in December and be a family.
He stoped the plans and now doesn't come home unless to pick up our daughter for a day or two at a time.
Things haven't been defined at the moment. Is it over? Are we separated etc mostly coz he says he has no time to talk.
He calls me a whore, he threatens to have me deported as I'm on a spouse visa, if I say something he doesn't like he threatens to stop paying my bills. I'm job hunting so don't worry I'm on the road to financial freedom.
However, lately he says he wants to get back together n try again.
I don't know if I want to. I don't feel love at all coz of all he's put me through.but I feel like it's the most convenient thing to do, we've never lived together and we have a baby so maybe things will be better once we do??

Needingchange Wed 29-Mar-17 14:51:40

It sounds to me like it is over or should be. There is no trust either side. He has no right to call you a whore when he did the same but you can't claim you feel no love because of what his put you through when you also had an affair. You both need to seek legal advice and go your separate ways as amicably as possible for the sake of your child

DanielCraigsUnderpants Wed 29-Mar-17 14:57:07

I would say its time to move on. Well its way past that time

Gazelda Wed 29-Mar-17 14:57:17

I'd recommend getting legal advise and support to separate formally. Don't get back with him out of convenience.

Adora10 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:07:04

Baffled why you got married to each other, doesn't even sound like there is basic likeness there never mind kindness and mutual respect.

I'd not be married to anyone out of convenience, sounds like it never got off the ground and has been dead from the start.

illstopatone Wed 29-Mar-17 15:16:23

@Adora10 you are so right that's exactly what I think. I'm here thinking why did we get married I feel like we have nothing in common and like it was doomed from the start. Oh what did I do

Adora10 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:25:48

Whatever you did can be undone OP; there's always a solution; you now need to look to a rosy future.

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