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Stbxh is a pita!

(21 Posts)
GoldenOrb Tue 28-Mar-17 22:11:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rainydayspending Tue 28-Mar-17 22:29:23

They are most likely another attempt at manipulation. It's hard, but ignoring anything that isn't related to the children is a way to "train" this out of him.
Stick to email/ text only. Don't change that.
I found emotive messages took a while to stop. They did eventually though.

Rainydayspending Tue 28-Mar-17 22:31:59

You could be clear (not on a drunken message day, maybe on an insulty/ manipulation/ PA message day) and respond. "Going forward I will only respond to messages directly relating to dc".
Stick to it. Even if you get a separate phone for friends etc so you can 'switch him off' if you're having a stressful time.

GoldenOrb Tue 28-Mar-17 22:41:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess Tue 28-Mar-17 22:46:30

I would change your mobile tbh. Just stick your old sim in a basic phone and have it on when the DC are with him. I would put in writing "I will only make contact arrangements via this email address from now on as is appropriate to our situation (or something like that)"

Make no reference to the unwanted texts etc.


GoldenOrb Tue 28-Mar-17 22:58:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pog100 Tue 28-Mar-17 23:09:51

Get a new number just for him and only use this. He will learn.

TheNaze73 Wed 29-Mar-17 07:42:30

I can see why he's an ex. A manipulator, with no self pride. He sounds hideous.
I agree with the others, change numbers.

GoldenOrb Wed 29-Mar-17 08:01:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abbsisspartacus Wed 29-Mar-17 09:44:43

Just don't reply have your phone on silent at night time

WeAreNotInKansasAnymore Wed 29-Mar-17 09:46:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldenOrb Wed 29-Mar-17 14:19:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adora10 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:25:51

Unless his messages are important then just bloody ignore the creep; no wonder you got rid he sounds like a sex pest.

GoldenOrb Wed 29-Mar-17 14:31:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stella08 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:50:10

It's an awful situation to be in. My STBXH was EA and likes to try and get a rise out of me by using DS. I've ended up telling him via text to not contact me directly or through a 3rd party anymore, he can contact me through my solicitor. He ignored this last week with a sarcastic text so I've told him that was his final warning and if he does it again, my solicitor will seek an Harassment order.
I'm just calling his bluff cos it's not bad enough for me to get one but he's a twat and doesn't know that. It's been lovely and quiet this week smile
Good luck OP. I'd just ignore him. He wants a reaction from you as justification to maintain contact.

GoldenOrb Wed 29-Mar-17 15:08:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adora10 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:28:04

Tell him you have a new boyfriend, a 6 feet 8 inch one!

It will stop OP, when he finds another willing victim.

Stella08 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:35:00

When things were really bad when we'd just moved out I used to remind myself that as bad as things were, I was happier then than I was in that marriage. I had no money, was living in a crappy house with very little furniture and 3 DC to support through the difficult time too. Even with all that I knew my life was better than before. I felt pity for STBXH for being so sad with his existence that he felt the need to contact me and annoy me. His life is sad and I know his future is pretty miserable too. All due to HIS actions. Life is what you make it and I've decided that the best way to annoy him is to enjoy my life. He might have the house, the car's and the money but I have the DC and my freedom and that mean more to me than anything he has.
I know it's hard but look forward not back cos that's the direction you're heading in. Leave him and his silly games in the past. Let him be consumed by his actions but don't let them consume you.

Theendofthethetherisclose Wed 29-Mar-17 15:38:01

Urrgghh - I feel your pain. Mine is exactly the same.

Last week I dropped the kids off at his place. I always stay in the car but he came out. I knew I was going to the supermarket & ask if anyone had a £1 coin (for the trolley) in exchange for change. He said "I have, but everything has a price" & puckers up for a kiss !
Endless stupid, pointless texts about the kids (they are 15 & 17).
The worst one was : we had had a particularly intense meeting regarding finances & as I was leaving he caught my arm and said 'I've got a semi ' I almost vommed on the spot.

I just block him now as the kids are old enough to make their own arrangements with him. This does come back to bite me though as I am the crappest Mother in the world because one of them had a cold & I wasn't there for him.

Good luck

Adora10 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:43:32

You poor strong wonderful woman still having to suffer at the hands of these sad weak individuals.

GoldenOrb Wed 29-Mar-17 15:51:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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