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Sick of all this divorce shit

(16 Posts)
ANewDawn Tue 28-Mar-17 18:10:15

And we've hardly begun in terms of legal stuff.

Have given him heads up on wording of divorce petition but I reckon he'll still go ape.

He's dragging his heels and everything is taking for ever.

I'm in the spare room.

Enough101 Tue 28-Mar-17 20:30:33

So I take it you asked for the divorce? How long ago? Do you have kids? Sorry to hear you are in this situation. I am in it too and its really hard going both being in the same house.

SleepingTiger Tue 28-Mar-17 20:55:48

Sorry to hear you are in this position. But don't rev it up, play the smart game.
The end is everything.

Mermaidinthesea Tue 28-Mar-17 20:57:06

Likewise anewdawn, mine's moved out but it's still a bloody nightmare. I'm wondering why I weven bothered to get married in the first place.

Ineedmorelemonpledge Tue 28-Mar-17 21:55:28

Anewdawn flowers for you. I thank god he walked out and I don't live in your situation. Stay strong and be kind to yourself.

Spent over £23000 so far, he's been fined by the court twice for not completing deadlines, the hearing date delayed three times because he won't respond, and now because of an extremely busy family court the earliest hearing I can get is May, postponed from November because of his ineffectual behaviour.

He hasn't paid a penny towards court or legal fees, and hasn't submitted one piece of paper, or paid a penny in child maintenance (currently owing £24000)

Yet every time he makes unreasonable demands for my son, and I deny them he throws "i can't wait to be divorced from you!" in my face, and he has a new partner.

Well f*cking do something about it then. hmm

ANewDawn Wed 29-Mar-17 17:48:39

Ineedmore - that sounds awful. It makes me feel sick that someone can do that

Small blessing to you all where they've moved out. I hate the sound of him coming through the front door. I'm perfectly ok til he gets home. He won't move out. Fucker. I can't afford to.

I asked for a divorce back in MAY last year. He managed to put it off saying he was too ill and I fucking relented although still in spare room. I think he was being on his best behaviour thinking I'd change my mind.

It all went bandy in November when I had a solicitors letter starting the process. He went fucking mad saying that I was being aggressive. Kids found out (11 and 12). We limped through Xmas and I changed sols as mine was shit.

I agreed to progress in February as he was 'ill' again. I'm just about to ok the wording of the petition. I hope he doesn't go mad again. Am dreading it. The fucker

ImperialBlether Wed 29-Mar-17 17:52:22

Does it matter what the wording says, though? Nobody reads it except at court. Can't you go for unreasonable behaviour and just be very brief?

ANewDawn Wed 29-Mar-17 17:53:40

Sleeping tiger - trying to keep my eye on the end game but it's bloody hard. I'm keeping calm and not engaging in his dramas. Can't wait to be rid.

Mermaid - you have more protection if you're married so at least that's a positive. If I wasn't married I'd be totally screwed. I know he's going to try and screw me as much as he can. He thinks I'm money grabbing.

Enough- is your STBXH still in the house? Do you have kids?

Stormtreader Wed 29-Mar-17 17:58:50

"Yet every time he makes unreasonable demands for my son, and I deny them he throws "i can't wait to be divorced from you!" in my face, and he has a new partner. "

"Im considering not doing it now actually, since I've been advised I'll get a better share of your pension and assets if I stay married. Plus, it amuses me to be able to call myself 'the real wife' and laugh with people about your ongoing affair with your mistress."
Watch him suddenly get organised.

ANewDawn Wed 29-Mar-17 17:59:31

Imperial- I'm with you - who really cares what ur says. But I'm scared it will kick him off. Sol said not to be brief as she thinks he might contest it shock

ANewDawn Wed 29-Mar-17 18:00:21

Storm grin

Ineedmorelemonpledge Wed 29-Mar-17 18:11:49

Would be great Storm but unfortunately I was the sole earner for the last 5 years we were together as he wouldn't get a job.

So I'm looking at losing half my pension and as we are in a different country I won't get a penny of his uk MOD pension angry

Enough101 Wed 29-Mar-17 20:06:44

Hi ANewDawn, yes the bastard is still in the house. We have two kids, we don't speak and when I say horrific divorce, I mean really horrific. Everything going through solicitors, have had to go to court. He just will not go. The whole house feels like a morgue, its horrible. I just cannot wait until its over. He was very EA and has upped the game since proceedings started. Its been the worst time of my life, but at least once its over, I wont have to put up with his shit anymore. It didn't need to be this way, but unfortunately it is.

ANewDawn Wed 29-Mar-17 20:50:26

Are you selling the house? What's the plan from here? How long do you think you'll have to put up with it? Sounds horrendous. We are politely civil but it's awful.

Mermaidinthesea Wed 29-Mar-17 20:57:29

It's unbearable, he left me when I became disabled and was having investigations for cancer becasue you know I had become so boring and is now wanting £60,000 from my home.
So I froze his bank account (joint with me but none of my money in there) with all his salary in it.
That will teach the fucker - he can't afford a solicitor now lol.

RaymondinaReddington Wed 29-Mar-17 23:45:27

I feel your pain ladies. The time stuck together in the house with my exH was the worst time ever. Thankfully it only carried on for 4 months (during which time he did everything he could to break me mentally). Then 3 years dragging feet through court while I shouldered the entire responsibility for the children. He still causes grief when he can. But let me assure you - it is absolutely worth it in the end. Keep soldiering on.

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