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OLD - questions for weeding out the weirdos?

(15 Posts)
CandleWithHair Tue 28-Mar-17 15:58:03

I'm failing hard at OLD! I feel I do sometimes manage to get normal guys but honestly, I think maybe I'm not screening them well enough.

Do any of you have any go-to weirdo detector questions? Or maybe vice versa, questions that help prove someone is sane?

Help! confused

adlertippa Tue 28-Mar-17 16:01:24

I used to get messages from people I had absolutely nothing in common with, often just 'hi' or similar. So I put a note in 2/3rds of the way into my profile saying 'if you've read this far and want to message me, please start with 'hola' instead of 'hello''. Worked a charm! Easy to delete the blokes trawling and pasting identikit messages to anyone with a pulse.

LellyMcKelly Tue 28-Mar-17 16:28:43

I was very specific about who I was and what I wanted. I made myself sound smart and sassy, and no pushover. I think that put half the dickheads off, and I actually met lots of normal, nice, smart men, including my partner.

emilybrontescorset Tue 28-Mar-17 16:35:57

Write an honest account of who you are and what you want.
If there are deal breakers then name them.

I didn't reply or contact anyone who didn't have a clear facial photo.
Don't use 'sexy' photos of yourself unless your are happy getting sexual pictures back.
Always meet in a public place and i never ever met for more than a quick drink or coffee.
If something feels off then disengage immediately.

knorrig Tue 28-Mar-17 16:38:15

Like alder said - do something to prove they've read as a lot of guys tend to copy/paste and send a mass message out.
Also, say if there's something you don't like - I used to say beefcakes or those posing by their cars/in the gym need not apply - said beefcakes used to then send abuse which proved my thinking about them.
I'd ignore those that just said hi as they need to put a bit more effort in!

CandleWithHair Tue 28-Mar-17 17:33:03

The test idea is brilliant! Like Van Halen's legendary M&Ms rider request. I'm going to do that, hopefully it will help. I'm using OKC at the moment, I think part of the problem is they've got a Tinder style swiping feature which means a lot of the messages I get are just from randos.

TDHManchester Tue 28-Mar-17 17:39:30

There are weirdo women out there too !

I think the most important thing is to chose the right OLD site that fits with you and the kind of person you are looking to meet. Be honest and upfront in your profile about who you are and what you want. For example, if you are hoping to meet someone for long term commitment and posibly marriage, dont be afraid to say so.

CandleWithHair Tue 28-Mar-17 17:46:32

TDH there's the rub, I'm not sure which is going to work for me so I'm testing them. I assumed GS as the guardian probably aligns quite well with my views and interests, but I found the guys on there mostly very pretentious which I suppose isn't that surprising either!

And you're right, I'm sure there plenty of weirdo women out there too. Hopefully I'm not one of them! grin

user1479305498 Tue 28-Mar-17 17:49:18

Be mega honest-- if you dont want to meet a Brexiter (or do) just as an example--say so . Have a personality!! The minute anyone wants to know obsessive details about your appearance/looks, in my opinion give them a miss. Any bloke for instance who asks what size boobs you have or what color knickers you wear (believe me there are weirdos like this out there) -- hit delete instantly. Be wary of those who are cagey about meeting times and places etc or ways you can communicate with them--chances are married or in LTR.

Ellisandra Tue 28-Mar-17 18:20:02

I was fine with short messages as it can be soul destroying writing essays for no return...
My most basic rule though was the man had to say something related to my profile. Could be as short as "I see you like theatre - what's the best thing you've seen recently?"
Anything that was just "hi" got deleted. And "hi sexy" deleted whilst I said "oh fuck off".

ocelot7 Tue 28-Mar-17 18:32:24

Very sound advice here OP smile
The problem with OLD is that you do 'fail' lots of times (from my experience) till you randomly succeed... You never know till you meet - some prospects sound much better on paper than in RL... I hadn't seen/contacted my partner but he contacted me...Not clear exactly why as we didn't appear to have a great deal in common at first...

CandleWithHair Tue 28-Mar-17 22:17:30

Thanks you lovely lot! I'm off to give my profile a refresh

Minime85 Tue 28-Mar-17 22:20:33

If they can't use their/there or they're correctly!

Judbarian Wed 29-Mar-17 00:23:24

Present yourself in a manner that attracts the type of men you want. Be direct in your profile about what you're looking for. Focus on characteristics that are important to you; smart, funny, curious, classy....

Put up accurate photos of yourself. No duck face. Nothing sexy. Don't mention money or material things, you'll be assumed a gold digger and attract only men with less than honorable intentions.

Move on to WhatsApp or Kik with those who pass the first round and then filter down to those you want to meet by how well you get on through chat. I'd advise skyping before meeting. Not always necessary but it's a good way of making sure that you are speaking to the person presented. It also allows you to see whether you'd be attracted to them in person.

scoobydoo1971 Wed 29-Mar-17 01:04:50

Get a spare mobile number for OLD. Protects you against Mr Nice Guy (or Gal) who later turns out to be a lunatic or worse. Never give out facebook details or anything else that could trace you in the real world, unless you are sure about them (a few real world dates at least). I had a would-be stalker once (not OLD) and it was horrible to feel spied upon.

If you start chatting, find out why they are single and about past relationships...how people talk about their ex's is very revealing about who they really are. Vindictive people get very carried away and won't hesitate to paint a picture of their evil ex and how they were wronged. Two sides to every story...

Try the 'met anyone nice here?' question...if they have met dozens of unsuitables in person and are very critical about their dates, run for the hills. Lots of narcissistic types on OLD and social media looking for validation of their superiority to the rest of the world.

Never meet anyone you are not certain of (just to be nice), and don't take anyone home on a first date unless you are prepared/ accepting that it might just be a one-nighter. Chatting online creates false intimacy that you 'know' them.

If they are evasive about meeting up, tread carefully...could be a scammer, married, serial chatter or other non-starter situation. Expect that people will lie about their circumstances and if they don't, there is your keeper.

Ask about hobbies, work, travel experiences...helps you to build a picture of who they are, and how suitable they are for your lifestyle/ interests.

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