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This is my story , i just need someone to talk to

42 replies

itsme40 · 28/03/2017 00:13

I met him two years ago. He came across as charming, traditional, sweet , caring. I didnt have much dating experience because i only had one other relationship in my life, which lasted 16 years and ended on good terms.He accepted my daughter but thank god i was smart enough to keep him away from her, i didnt want to introduce them early ,before i make sure that its serious between us.
In hindsight i now realize that the clues were there but i was blinded and chose not to see them. From time to time he would say things like he wishes i had a child first with him or that he prefers if i had 100 partners before him than a child etc
He is very charming. He would say things like he never met anyone like me before, and that he loves me with all his heart and he will never leave me no matter what etc etc
After we established a relationship he started showing signs of weird pattern of behavior. Little, tiny , small things like telling him that i disagree with him (always in a nice way) or that i feel lonely or even that he misspelled something they would send him into a fit of rage. He would transform to someone i never saw before. Raging, blaming, trying to put guilt in me, threatening that i better stop talking or i make it worse, telling me that he is feeling hurt and i am a bad girlfriend etc etc The first times that it happened i was numb, i never saw anyone reacting like this not even for serious matters let alone for the trivial things that would set him off .Almost like a small child having a tantrum but way worse.
I tried to talk to him and explain that i dont understand where all the rage comes from and there was no reason for this but its always somehow my fault.
As time passed those fits of rage became more frequent and more severe. The only that remained the same is that it was always over nothing and always my fault, i somehow was responsible for his behavior. New addition is that he would start insulting me. For example he made me play a computer game with him and then he would mock me and humiliate me. I can understand for a while to be a joke but this wasnt. He would say things like he pretends to play alone because i am useless, how could i be so bad, and if i couldn't "support him" in the game he would rage again and even leave the room to "cool off". Or when i said that he shouldn't trust a certain person at work because he was proven a liar, he went into a rage , saying things like he wonders how anyone talks with me, that i am the idiot here for getting knocked out with my smack head first partner(yes i know i cant see the connection either) and when i had enough insults and i replied that i was in a 16 years relationship and he wasnt a smackhead but just a hard working descent person it caused him to rage as i never saw before telling me that i am like a whore and i should never again support my ex partner because i hurt him and he will never be the same before. I have litterally hundrets of examples to tell of his abnormal reactions to situations. In addition he woudl start threatening to go, every time over everything he woudl say how bad the relationship is and how i am nto good partner and how tired he is inside of all that "arguing"
Honestly , having to put up so often with situations like this , it makes you doubt yourself and your sanity. His behavior is exhausting and you just say yes just to stop it form happening. He humiliates and creates guilt and he gets aggressive and makes you losing yourself slowly. It drains you and makes you think that you are wrong, you losing your common sense and what is real
I blame myself for allowing him to treat me like that. The gut feeling was there form the beginning but i chose to ignore it because the rest of the time he was perfect. Almost like two different people. I read a lot and now i can say he has all the signs of narcissistic disorder.
Tonight i had enough.Tonight he turn against my child and that is the end. He wanted sex but i asked him if he can wait a bit untill i get my daughter from school and take her to her grandparents. (thank god she doesnt have contact with him, he was making plans for us to get married and have kids but i guess in a bright moment of mine during this relationship i followed my instinct and kept him away form her despite the wedding plans). He started and few minutes after went into a sulky mood telling me that he had enough of my fking child and if i love him i should either" give her to her dad or abandon her or whatever he doesnt care what i will do as long as she dissapears and stops coming between us". I asked him what sort of sick joke is that and he replied that there is no joke here.....I threw him out and if i see him again i am calling the police
Anyone out there , dont let them treat you like that, dont excuse their behavior and listen to your gut feeling Take this advice from me that i made those mistakes and i am regretting it
Thank ever so much whoever listened, i feel so much better sharing this

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ohfourfoxache · 28/03/2017 00:35

You are absolutely bloody brilliant. You had a gut feeling, protected your dd and now you've chucked him out. That's a big move and you should be damned proud of yourself.

I am going to ask, though- are you safe? This guy sounds completely unhinged and capable of anything. You may well be in a vulnerable position. Do you have anyone who could stay with you/anyone you could stay with?