it got me thinking yesterday when a bus driver wrote 'coffee? and his number' on back of a ticket. I must look easy or desperate cos I aint pretty?
anyway, my first thoughts were, gosh he wouldn't want to date me, im hard work, got 3 kids, lots of shit going on with my mental health..... my 2nd thought was oh dear, im not going to reply and now i'll feel awkward everytime his bus pulls up!
im not unhappy being single, I like my home to myself, no man smells, sex pesters, got free time etc but would be lying if I said I didn't feel lonely. however I don't think I have the mental energy to entertain a relationship? don't know if that would change any time soon.
then I got to think of the dc's. my ds's from 1st relationship had to adapt to my 2nd partner (now ex) coming into their lives which they found hard, I don't want to put them through it again?
dd from recent ex I feel like I have to protect more as she attaches herself to people quite easy. also I know it may not be relevant to some - but my step father asked me to take my clothes off when I was in my 20's and it does worry me. im not saying all step fathers are cringy but I cant help to have trust issues.
so, im wondering if I would ever feel like I have enough space in my head to think im worthy of love or to be that some ones 'special'
any one else felt like this?
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does any one else feel they have too much going on to be loved?
happyfrown · 27/03/2017 17:16
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