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Can we have a thread full of positive online dating stories(31 Posts)
....ones with a happy ever after, please.
I'm 43 and have been online dating for 18 months, I'm beginning to lose faith. Can anyone fill me with hope, and/or give me some pointers?
I'd fill my house with cats, but I'm allergic.
I went on an online date once; reader, I married him.
Seriously: we've got two DC and cats and a house and everything! I think we were both just in the right place at the right time, so to speak.
It will happen
Stated online dating at 28 after I left a job that I really enjoyed. I had no partner or anything and my life felt empty. Within a month I'd met a bloke (the first one who messaged me), we hit it off and cancelled the next month's membership.
Almost exactly 9 years later, we have 2 dc, are married and about to celebrate our 4th anniversary.
Dh is lovely. I'm glad I met him.
Re. pointers: I'd suggest joining a paid site rather than a free one but I think lots of them share a database of members (dh and I joined two separate sites but were linked with each other). Don't spend too much time messaging and texting; meet each other as soon as you can do you can get a feel for the actual person and not the idea you've built up of them through their texts. Meet in public wherever possible. Keep your standards high and if you meet someone you're not happy with our have a bad feeling about, don't be afraid to walk away.
Met DH on POF. Been together almost 9 years now, and he is an absolute gem. Keep going.....be very picky though...
Another POF DH here, happily married with a DD together and he adores my DD1.
My tips would be to try and meet people sooner rather than later. Make sure your profile reflects you, my username for eg was a play on words of a song by a band I like. The people who 'got' the reference and messaged me immediately had something that we had in common which helped with that awkward first message.
Met my soon-to-be husband on POF 3 years ago, after 3 years on/off OLD. I also used a paid site for a while, but most people were also on POF so ditched the paid one. I had the usual mix of nice guys and not-so-nice guys.
My advice, for what's it worth:
be very clear about what your intentions are from the off
don't spend too long chatting online - meet up face-to-face asap
walk away if you have a bad feeling BUT don't be too hasty in ditching if you're not sure. I wasn't sure about my OH to start with, mainly because I was being very narrow minded about who I thought I wanted. Once I opened my mind, and took the time to get to know him, I realised just how bloody awesome he is.
I did online dating on and off for 3 years. Lost heart in it so many times, but persisted and learnt from it...I met my now DH on OKCupid in March 2013, married September 2014, bought a house 2016 and now 37 weeks pregnant with his first child (my 2nd, but he's her dad now and they adore each other).
He's amazing and we just work, and best of all, no games, no stress just natural!
It does work, I promise
I came out of a 20 year relationship, this time last year. In September I decided to give OLD a whirl. I met three people and have happily been seeing my boyfriend since the end of October. He's funny, caring and absolutely gorgeous and crazily he feels the same way about me!!
My advice? Look outside the parameters you've set. I would never have met my boyfriend, if he'd not contacted me, as he's 8 years younger and I'd set the limit at 5.
Not me personally but three examples from friends I can share:
Two friend both were in 30s at time who are perfect for each other met via OLD and now have child, been together 10 years.
One friend late 20s is going out with fantastic guy she met via OLD, been together 6 months and she has never been happier.
One friend, very late 30s met now husband via OLD. He is great and she is now in her mid 40s, quit the job she hated and is a SAHM living a pretty dream life in a million pound house they brought together (he is very wealthy, had never been married or had kids, had just been too career focused for the last decade to date).
I've never tried it (been with DH since I was 21) but I know people who say it can be dire but there are success stories so my advice to friends is don't give up but be very picky and trust your instincts. Don't get involved behind the screen, you need to meet people and then see if it develops rather than the other way round.
I fell in love with my FWB, im blissfully happy and we are very well suited. AND we met on POF of all places!
oh i meant to say we are both 38 and have had our kids.
Met my DP on POF a few years ago. We now have a lovely DD together and I adore him (and her )
Not strictly OLD, but i met someone via myspace once.
It's just been our tenth anniversary
I did about 2 years on and off online dating.
Didn't ever meet up with any total horrors but certainly didn't want to see many of them again.
Then I met my current bf. We've been together 4 years and we are really happy. I feel the bad dates helped me understand what I wanted and to listen to myself on dodgy ones so I entered this relationship with clear boundaries and confidence, and in that sense those bad dates were worth every minute.
So on that, if there's something on the profile or messages that you don't like, ghost them and move on. It'll be quicker in finding someone you actually like. You can't be a people pleaser and a successful online dater.
I was online on and off for about 5 years. After many, many....many dates that never went anywhere, I am now engaged to the man of my dreams (full on romantic soppy-ness included!)
You may have to kiss a few frogs but it's worth sticking to it.
My best advice is, always meet for just a coffee on the first date, don't try and go for full on dinner or date just in case. It starts to get draining after a while.
Also, if it doesn't click on the first date, move on. No point trying to shoehorn feelings in where you know they don't exist.
Went on a few casual dates with people from POF and then dated one guy for a couple of months. Logged on to delete my profile and had this absolute killer message from my now partner. We talked for about 30 hours solid. Met 3 days later. Four years and 2 kids later. I bloody love that man. And I would never have met him if it wasn't for online dating.
I met my DH through Dating Direct, that was about 13 years ago ( not sure if DD even exists any more).
I kissed a lot of frogs and had lunch/dinner/coffee with a lot more.
My top tips are much like everyone else's:
- Don't invest much time in an online relationship. Either they want to meet up within a couple of emails or they don't.
- Lunch dates are good as they give you enough time to talk. Try to keep it fairly low key for the first one.
- If your date lives far away, then they'd have to be really special on the screen to bother meeting with them, as just think of all the travelling involved if you start a relationship with them
- If you like the person but aren't sure if you have a connection or not, then in this case do give it another go. I really liked DH as a person but wasn't sure if I fancied him or not, but then after a few dates I definitely did
Good luck with it all. It can feel like hard work and sometimes dispiriting but ultimately its like job hunting - you only need one good match.
I met my partner on POF 8 years ago. We are now engaged and living together with out little dog and very happy. Ok we have ups and downs like any couple and he annoys the shit out of me at times but I wouldn't have him any other way. I was on POF for 5 months before i met him and went on a few dates with some complete freaks, one wanted to take dogging, one wanted to piss on me and a few were obviously married! But stick it out there are some good ones out there.
I have been on one online date, from PoF. Still together 2 years on.
I met my fiancé on tinder of all places! I have also met a few men from POF over the years, nice people, just not relationship material. So there are some normals out there!
Online dated on and off for a few years, met a few shockers but on the whole a very interesting selection of people who I would never have come across in everyday life.
Met a guy three years ago after contacting each other on Match, a quick walk turned into an 11 hour date and I have never been so happy! We live together, his two girls live with us half of the time and I can't believe life can be this good.
Throw your list of "must haves" out of the window. My BF meets my minimum height requirement but is definitely not the "type" I would have said I was looking for. What he is is trustworthy, loyal, kind and generous, and he makes me laugh from the pit of my stomach. Funnily enough, the more I love him, the handsomer and more perfect for me he gets. After a few broken hearts and falling for the bad boys I am utterly amazed and delighted with my lot.
And from his point of view, he played the numbers game; dated a few times a week until he "hit the jackpot".
Hang in there, you'll find the one
I'd say persevere and go with your gut. I'd had coffee with and messaged quite a few people through OLD (match). Wasn't really convinced it was for me, hadn't really had a connection despite trying. But there was one bloke who messaged me and his opening line was funny, and there was something about him that caught my attention. Don't think I'd have ever picked him from his profile though. we messaged a bit and he suggested a drink. I wasn't that fussed, but turned up because I'd said I would. We had a great night, found we had loads in common and 6 months on we're about to go on holiday us and all our kids together.
I agree OLD can be depressing - the talent pool from 40+ upwards is hit and miss BUT you only need to find one. And whilst a lot of the good men are married by their 40s, both of us had been in long relationship but then been left by our other halves. So back in the market after many years and both (I like to think) normal well-adjusted people.
My first and last online date was with my now DH 6 years ago.
We are now married with a 2yr old. Best thing I ever did
Don't waste your time if you don't click or you don't like something about them move on. DH was my 7th online date, I now have our 4 month old napping in my arms.
I'm sitting in companiable silence (we are both working) with my dp of nearly 4 years who I met on POF. He's just the nicest man I ever met. In fact I'm going to give him a kiss now and tell him that
Keep the faith op. You need a thick skin and a sense of humour and then you can have a great time and meet some great people
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