OH and I have been together for over 4 years and we have a DS (newborn). We have lived together for 3 years and I have a DD (8) from a previous relationship.
I split up with her Dad when she was very young so for a long time it was just me and her and I'm not ashamed to say she is everything to me so I am aware my view might be skewed.
Anyway, on the whole she is very well behaved. Outstanding at School, very caring, funny and loving. However she is very 'adult' like. The way she talks, how she thinks she should behave. And that is solely because for a long time she didn't have a lot of interaction with other children. Coupled with general 8 year old attitude and not listening... my OH finds her very difficult to deal with.
He thinks I am not strict enough and undermines him when he disciplines her.
I think he is too strict and I'll be honest I find it difficult when anyone tells her off.
He's said at times he dislikes her when she's rude. Which I can completely understand as I don't particularly love it either when she behaves like that but it breaks my heart.
We've had a terrible Mother's Day ending up with a huge row. All because she said something that he took the wrong way. I told him he was being over sensitive and reacting like a child. He said I wasn't understanding to how it made him feel.
So we've all gone to bed crying.
I feel like we're at a crossroads and I don't know how to get over it. We have a son together and I really don't want to split up our family. However I can't see how we are going to work through this. And I'll be honest how can I stay with someone who, at times, actively dislikes my daughter?
It's so hard because he treats her like his own, supports us financially etc. And I think that's the thing. He sees her as his own so thinks it's completley normal that he can at times, not 'like' her, lose his temper etc.
At times I don't like her ! But I love her with every ounce of my being and the thought of him not liking her breaks my heart.
Am I being over sensitive? Does anyone with blended families offer any support/advice?
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Relationships
OH struggles with DSD - I don't know what to do?
Minky9 · 26/03/2017 22:40
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