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Am I the only one who got nothing?

(41 Posts)
Princess4432 Sun 26-Mar-17 16:05:34

I have two children and in my relationship I do everything for them my partner does not do a single thing to help with the children!! I was very upset this morning to get absolutely nothing for Mother's Day!! My partner does not seem to even care he actually refused to get me anything. I don't expect a load of money spent on me but a card at least?

SandyY2K Sun 26-Mar-17 16:15:51

Funny you say that because my DM was rather peeved that my DH didn't get her a cars or even give a happy mother's day wish.

We've all left home and have our own families. We sent her cards, but my DF is useless with things like that.

Was it nothing from the kids as well? How old are they?

I got a card and bottle of wine from my DH and a card/flowers /smellies from my DC.

HappyJanuary Sun 26-Mar-17 16:18:38

How old are your dc?

Teens are notoriously selfish and thoughtless, and if you're the sort of mum who puts up and shuts up then they may be used to seeing you as a low priority who won't complain.

If they're primary age they needed a nudge from your dp and his attitude is appalling (unless you similarly ignore Father's Day, his birthday etc).

I think you should make your feelings known tbh, it's not too late for them to run you a bath or cook dinner.

bluejelly Sun 26-Mar-17 16:18:42

Why does he do nothing to help with the children? I'd be more upset by that than lack of a card

Ellisandra Sun 26-Mar-17 16:20:48

Well, you've accepted a relationship where you do everything.
You've chosen to be with a selfish arsehole and facilitate that.
So I'm more surprised that you were very upset rather than quietly resigned to the usual same old shit.

Why not turn the upset into something positive and make this the turning point for a better life?

Marmalade85 Sun 26-Mar-17 16:28:35

Agree with pp, think the lack of card is the least of your problems.

ShatnersWig Sun 26-Mar-17 16:30:16

How old are the children? Is your partner their father?

beelover Sun 26-Mar-17 17:51:43

I am surprised at people getting/wanting presents from husband's as well as from DC, is this a thing? Obviously would expect husband's to help little DC to get presents and cards but not to buy something from themselves too.

beelover Sun 26-Mar-17 17:52:44

And I forgot to say OP I am sorry you got nothing at all x

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:02:49

Hello yes he is the father they are 5 and 3 I absolutely spoil him rotten every Father's Day or special occasion the same isn't done for me. I don't have much choice on wether he helps me or not. He just doesn't. I'm a very good mum to the children and was very hurt by his actions and no not even a card from the little ones

HappenedForAReisling Sun 26-Mar-17 18:07:03

I got nothing too - same as every year. DD said Happy Mother's Day. She only know it's today because she saw it on FB (it's not MD here but even when it is, the day will pass as any other Sunday). shrug

HecateAntaia Sun 26-Mar-17 18:11:38

have you considered maybe not 'spoiling him rotten' when he clearly doesnt feel you are worth the same?

LiveLifeWithPassion Sun 26-Mar-17 18:14:52

Why did he refuse to get you anything?
My dh is normally great but doesn't much care for occasions so I sorted my own card and gift and gave them to him so he could give them to the kids to sign and give them to me.
They were so happy to give me the stuff that the hugs and joy from me was genuine even though the surprised reaction was fake.
The youngest did a beautiful painting for me, we went out and we ll watch a film later and eat the Mother's Day chocs together.

If you have to, organise it yourself. Hopefully the dcs will grow up knowing that their mum deserves some recognition and will sort things themselves. Although, of course, I know you don't need Mother's Day to for that.

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:15:03

I have considered that but then I feel absolutely horrible and guilty. That's just not who I am as a person sad and would never want someone to feel like this

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:16:12

Hi that is a day that I'd dream of having .. maybe next year I will organise everything myself

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:17:08

His comment was I've only been a mother for 5 years why would I expect anything to be done for me?

Gallavich Sun 26-Mar-17 18:17:46

What does he bring to your life? Why are you with him apart from habit/duty?

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 18:19:54

Good question I find myself asking the same thing sad I just don't feel I'm ready to go through the heartbreak of being on my own although I know very well I'd be perfectly fine as I don't get help with Day to Day duties

Bluetrews25 Sun 26-Mar-17 19:48:19

And the DCs didn't even do anything for you at school to bring home? Times have changed. Wow, I'd be hurt, too.
flowers cake brew for you , OP

grumpysquash3 Sun 26-Mar-17 19:49:46

I got absolutely nothing. No-one has even mentioned Mothers Day. My DC are 15, 13 & 11.

SandyY2K Sun 26-Mar-17 19:50:24

I've only been a mother for 5 years why would I expect anything to be done for me

The same time he's been a dad, yet you still spoil him rotten. Why? Can you see you're behaviour actually causes your disappointment.

Stop treating him on Father's day.

Don't your kids make cards in nursery and school?

When you're with a man like this, until and unless you're ready to leave. ..you need to do things to make yourself happy.

He's never bought you a card before, why is it a surprise now.
Next year. ...plan a nice day out with your DC. ..

Before mother's day. . . You can get some arts and crafty stuff and assist them to design a card for you and your mum. ..if she's around and in your life.

My friend said every year. .her DH "forgot' to book a table for lunch on mothers day. .they would drive around and get knocked back from all the restaurants, till they ended up with nowhere. ..except McDonald's.

She took it upon herself to book a table after enough years of being dressed up in McDonald's. ...he wasn't going to make the effort, so she had to. I suggest you do the same m

grumpysquash3 Sun 26-Mar-17 19:50:57

On Friday DS2 said he'd started making a card at school, but it was rubbish and he hadn't finished it, so didn't bother bringing it home.

MrsMuddlePluck Sun 26-Mar-17 19:54:54

I don't expect anything. That way I'm pissed off not disappointed every year, when the inevitable "did you have a lovely day, being spoiled" question gets asked.

Lordamighty Sun 26-Mar-17 19:59:20

Why would you spoil him on Father's Day when he can't be bothered for you. Ignore Father's Day & his birthday & if he mentions it, tell him exactly why. Next year for MD, as your DC are so young, help them choose cards & small gifts & maybe go out for lunch & don't include your "D"P.

Jenni5443 Sun 26-Mar-17 20:01:32

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Think I'm going to stop making an effort for him when clearly he makes no effort for me. It's not what I want in life I'm dreading the school run tomorrow morning ... everyone bragging about what they got and done !!

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