Almost two years into the separation after STBXH told me he wanted a divorce. But only a month into finding out that he had set up OW in the wings and made his move the very day he asked for the divorce.
I've tried so hard, reading the books, doing the exercises, I've been in denial a long time (aided by him keeping me hanging "as a friend" - and my own seemingly endless capacity for ignoring what I didn't want to admit), in pain a long time, recently moved to anger (find myself shouting "I hate him!" several times a day). But whyyyyyyy can't I just get him out of my mind?
He's not often with OW (increasing his obsession) but is with her tonight (as if it has anything whatsoever to do with me) and I just can't concentrate or enjoy myself. I'm so angry at the fact that he took all those years of my care and attention, ignoring me, treating me very poorly - and why did I stay? I was a strong, brave woman with a great future when I met him, and I feel like a washed up old shell of my former self, and I am single and I feel that is a life sentence at the moment. And I am so angry at them being happy.
This isn't me!! Why should I care? Part of me knows it's a good thing it's over, and the other part knows even if I don't want it and am suffering it's over anyway, so - please shake me, hold my hand, tell me your best strategies for moving on with your life after heartbreak. (Even if he is a complete loser dickbrain I can't deny my I've been utterly heartbroken.)
Any fantastic stories of finding love again after the age of 53 would be great as well. I know I do need to stop thinking of a relationship as something to define myself by, but I'm just so lonely. (Not helped by having moved and essentially living and working alone - I can go days and days without speaking to a real person).
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Someone shake me and tell me how to get beyond the pain and anger
hareinthemoon · 25/03/2017 19:45
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