Hi
My partner and I have been together 4 years and sadly it's not a happy relationship. Im hoping for some advice on how to deal with the situation as I feel trapped, something which I feel he set out to achieve.
I didn't return to my job after maternity leave and have been a SAHM since (DS nearly 2). We are not married so yes I know this was a very stupid mistake on my part! He told me he would leave me if I went back to work, as ex worked there. I went along with it as I wanted a family for my then 9 month old.
The jealousy has continued and despite the fact he does what he wants when he wants yet the suggestion of me going out on an evening means I am called every name under the sun. He texts numbers he doesn't know on my phone, opens post if he doesn't know what it is, listens to my telephone conversations.... I could go on.
He is out multiple times a week, using work 'networking' as an excuse. on numerous occasions he has not come home and not even made contact to tell me this. He tells me the night before that he is away for the week/weekend.
Therefore as a result he regularly goes over a week without seeing our DS. He does absolutely nothing for him, I can count on one hand how many nappies he's changed in his life, yet in front of people puts in this doting dad act. Most weekends he's not around yet when it suits him he excepts me to just fall inline with what he wants.
I do absolutely everything in the house, for him and our DS, he doesn't so much as put his washing in the laundry basket. I appreciate that he is at work but I don't think I'm asking too much for a bit of help, I'm currently treated like his house keeper.
With regards to finances he pays what he deems a reasonable amount into the joint account each month. Whilst I am able to buy things from it a £20 purchase for myself (literally one off) has been challenged by him. He earns considerably more than he puts into our account and is keeping the rest in his sole account (I wouldn't be surprised if he were also making big pension contributions to reduce any future maintenance payments).
I feel completely trapped, financially I am in an awful position. I'm scared of what underhand tactics he would try , I found a list of actions he were to take which included querying my mental state with a GP. There is and never has been any issue there but it's just scares me what lengths he will go to.
He says he would go to court for 50:50 contact, this would be extreamly difficult for me having bought DS up pretty much on my own, is he likely to get this? I do believe he is saying this to get to me as his actions to date have hardly shown DS to be his priority.
I really need some advice on how to get my ducks in a row. Sadly I feel I may have left this too late and therefore handed him all the power to sort himself out whilst ensuring I do not come out of this well.
Thanks x
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Advice please
18 replies
FallingRaindrops2015 · 24/03/2017 22:31
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