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Manipulative parents

(3 Posts)
Lakerman41 Fri 24-Mar-17 14:08:18

Hello,

I am a new father to a four week old son;I love him to bits. His birth has put into perspective my relationship with my own parents. They are very manipulative, they have used physical, emotional and mental abuse when I was younger to guilt me into their way of life. I've struggled for many years with confidence as a result.

I've remained civilised despite everything and even had them over to meet their grandchild.

When they came over to meet their grandchild (I hadn't seen them in three months or even spoke to my dad) they weren't loving with him, told my gf they had flowers for her but they were at home (the flowers never materialised) and didn't really offer any support to us. It felt like a self serving visit for them to show off to friends/family. All they were bothered about was a photo.

They are now trying to have this 'close' relationship (we have never been close) where we talk all the time and they pop in all the time. Our son is up all night and we are very tired but they just won't back off or accept our boundaries.

I really don't want to see them and I am seeking professional help with my confidence. I don't want to go up on Mothers Day because I will be alone and they will be trying to manipulate me. I am not ready to face them, what should I do?

QuiteLikely5 Fri 24-Mar-17 14:29:25

In your shoes I would simply send a polite text message saying that you do not want any contact with them for the time being and that you ask that they respect your wishes.

After that, do not let them in your home and block their number from your phone.

No contact is sometimes the only way to go.

Mouikey Fri 24-Mar-17 14:45:34

Spoil your partner rotten on Sunday, she will really appreciate it for her first Mother's Day (an hour for a bath would be perfect!). Don't go and spend time with your parents if you don't want to. If you want to go NC that would be a whole other matter as the pp said

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