I am the sole earner in our household of me, my partner and our 2 kids (1 a baby).
All the bills and costs (house, food, cars, holidays, school fees, etc) come out of my account and I put £700 into my partners account each month for anything like treats, shopping, etc.
I sometimes let my partner use my credit card for things like dentist and on many occasions I have noticed on my statement extra things like visits to a shop afterwards. I have confronted my partner and an apology has been forthcoming for buying something that wasn't meant for me to pay for, but then it just happens again.
This time I found on my statement last night a £300 purchase had been made without my knowledge and a couple of efforts were made to hide this from me. I confronted my partner who said that the money would be paid back to me etc. But I said not good enough, you need to return that stuff right now. My partner got very angry about this and says 'Youre just doing that to get revenge.' And then says 'If I'm such a bad person I won't be going to the Mother's Day lunch anymore' which was meant to be with my mother, my partner knows this will upset me as I want everyone to be there and family is important to me.
Me and my partner have 2 children together so there is no such thing as a 'deal breaker' for me because the kids are too important, I could not be separated from them. I earn a high salary so being totally honest these amounts are insignificant to me, but I get very upset by the lack of honesty.
Do you think I am wrong to pressure my partner to return the items? Does anyone have any advice how to resolve this ongoing issue? I tried to explain how this is a trust issue, I don't think my partner sees that, just sees it as a little money to me and doesn't understand the big deal.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Partner using credit card without asking
hade761 · 23/03/2017 13:34
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