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please can someone help me with my anxiety?

(21 Posts)
sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:24:01

I'm sorry it's has nothing to do with relationships but I could really use some help.....
Long history of social exclusion because of my troubleday past.
Soooooo so different now. Divorced. Went back to school and gained some qualifications and now at uni studying nursing.
I am still working on my confidence and believing 'I am good enough' but no matter what I do......in the class room during a debate or presentation my heart races. I feel sick. Yes this is normal but it's making me want to quit.
I have worked my arse off to get to where I am. I have juggled work kids and uni.
Please someone help me find confidence. I honestly wanted to walk out today. I can't do that.

pocketsaviour Wed 22-Mar-17 21:34:05

I think it's relatively normal to feel anxious during these situations.

Does your uni offer any student support services? (most of them do.) Especially if it's a uni focussed on medical services, they should be able to offer a short counselling course which would help you overcome these negative thoughts.

flowers You've been really brave getting to where you are now. Don't let anyone tell you different.

sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:37:54

Thankyou pocket 😊
I try to tell myself it's normal but it's making me not enjoy it and I only learn when I feel relaxed.

Hacpac Wed 22-Mar-17 21:41:00

Have you had any CBT for anxiety? Do you take medication?

ocelot7 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:42:31

Please go talk to your personal tutor/module leader about this. They will hopefully be able to direct you to appropriate support.
Lots of students are anxious about presentations but it really does get easier with practice ie the more you do the easier it becomes. Please believe me on this - I've seen it 100s of times. Very pleasing to see third years so assured who could hardly speak in their first semester smile

MuttsNutts Wed 22-Mar-17 21:43:12

Many years ago I attended a public speaking course which was very helpful. It gave me relaxation techniques and coping strategies which I still find useful today, not just for public speaking but in lots of situations which I find stressful. It covered everything from breathing to what to do with your hands and voice control - lots of it works by forcing you to concentrate on something other than the source of your anxiety.

I can't remember which organisation ran the course but it might be worth you finding out if there is something similar available near you.

sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:49:03

Never had cbt. Not on medication.
Do you mean speak to the module leader who is firing questions at us all the time. Hate being put on the spot. It takes me a while to absorb and think about things. I just feel on edge. Can't relax. Can't learn. Honestly when I am relaxed and learning I can naturally contribute.
I really hope it gets easier. I just can't see how. It's such a horrible feeling in my tummy.
Thankyou all smile

user1489226029 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:49:16

You have come so far be very proud of that. Take one day at a time particularly during these difficult periods. It will get easier. Is it the presentations etc that cause you the greatest anxiety? How do you feel when you are on placement?

Mermaidinthesea Wed 22-Mar-17 21:50:34

I am terrified in these situations but as a fellow medical professional I have to. I always take a beta blocker before giving a talk, it gets rid of that horrible adrenaline rush and blankness.
My GP let me have some for that purpose as I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.

Hacpac Wed 22-Mar-17 21:51:33

Google mindfulness and see if you can pick up some tips from that. CBT for anxiety is really helpful and you can self refer.

sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:01:02

Thankyou ☺
Presentation are the worst. Sitting there knowing the tutor is going to point and ask questions. I can feel the anxiety rising to the point of awfulness. Heart racing. Feel sick. My voice goes funny.
When I'm on placement I feel ok because I'm not acting as such. It's real people. It's really happening. I still feel nervous but not as bad.
Medical professional? Can i ask what you do? Im shocked. Everyone i have come into contact with seems so confident. What do beta blockers do? Do they really help? I need something as it's taking over my life. It's getting me down.
ok, didn't realise you can self refer. Not sure how long I'd have to wait though.

ocelot7 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:01:34

In that case, get your personal tutor (if you have one) to have a word with the module leader about that teaching style(!) or ideally to remind all module leaders about how to manage seminars including students who have anxiety - its almost certainly not just you.
But I think its also important for you to work on ways to be able to contribute in seminars ie doing all the readings & thinking through what you might ask or comment on beforehand. Once you manage to contribute it will get easier. You could also suggest the class talk in small groups first so that everyone contributes before talking all together.

TheElephantofSurprise Wed 22-Mar-17 22:02:56

Mindfulness, as mentioned above. It will help.

Hacpac Wed 22-Mar-17 22:04:42

You do have to wait but it's not that long. Go to docs, explain what's happening and they can help in the short term with a medication and ask about self referral. Is anxiety something that you suffer from all the time and have done for years or is it just study related?

sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:07:46

Do you think they will listen to me? Yes I might have to chat to my tutor.
I worry they may say that it's something I have to get used to going into nursing and having to sit through mdt etc

sparkle00 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:11:22

I have never ever had confidence so to be sat in a classroom is a massive achievementioned to me. I am always trying to be brave and include myself.
If I am sat chatting about something I am interested in I am fine. It's the whole lead up to knowing I have to talk and may not know the answer. I love learning but it takes me longer than most. I don't find it easy to naturally communicate what I'm trying to say, especially when I am put on the spot.

user1489226029 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:29:19

All of what you are saying sounds perfectly normal. You would be surprised how many people come across as super confident but underneath not so much they have learnt how to deal with things. Just like you are. Your training will prepare you and things will feel easier.

pog100 Thu 23-Mar-17 01:04:00

I know everyone seems so confident but they really are not. Apart from a few idiots who have no idea of their standing, everyone is "faking it till they make it".
I taught at uni for over 30 years and believe me your tutors want you to succeed. Particularly people like you who are clearly trying so hard and have had to fight to get there.

MiddleClassProblem Thu 23-Mar-17 01:21:56

I'm really crap at mindfulness and doing long breath type breathing etc but my cbt guy showed me a video about how if you regulate your breathing to breath in for the same period as you breath out (as in for 3 and out for 3) it lowers your heart rate and eases the hormones like adrenaline and something else. These affect how well your brain works. There's a video on YouTube somewhere of this dr explaining it all at a lecture. Anyway I used this to do a reading at my brother's wedding so before I went up I sat and for a few mins whilst the vicar was doing her thing and I just did it to myself at my own pace. It doesn't matter if you're counting seconds or another pace, as long as you are regulating your breathing and the same for in and out. You don't have to do big huff breathing or in through the nose/out through the mouth, just breath the rhythm how it's comfortable for you to yourself.

It's worth a try as a short term aid for those moments you feel the anxiety swelling.

Whenever I try breathing with someone talking me through or long breaths or different counts I always cock up or overthink it or worry if I'm not doing it right. This way it's just me and I know the science theory behind it.

MiddleClassProblem Thu 23-Mar-17 01:35:07

I forgot to say that the clearing your mind bit is because when you get anxious you trigger fight or flight (or freeze) and adrenaline which (maybe with other hormones I can't remember) focuses your brain on the threat so say if you were out walking and came across a bear, they stop you thinking about what you might buy your aunt for her birthday or what you're coping for dinner and all the other thought trains that hug in your head, and just focus on the bear. The problem with that in day to day life is that you just focus on the worry rather than the task in hand so the breathing helps settle hormones and heart so you brain can function as it would normally.

sparkle00 Thu 23-Mar-17 07:35:14

I know it's probably normal. It just gets me down and I don't like the feeling. Actually it really gets me down.
Really? I was worried about chatting about it the the tutor as I thought that's how it's supposed to be to gear you up for nursing. I would enjoy it so much more if I could relax and speak when I wanted to.
Thanks that's really helpful middle. I will try that for sure. Although I have tried controlled breathing but not counted. I have sat there pinching myself to take my mind off it. Oh god I just hate it. I can feel my anxiety rising now as I'm speaking about it 😔

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