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Has anyone ever found an affair has improved their marriage?

(46 Posts)
Pauline345 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:48:52

Because I have! Love DH a lot but sex was sporadic and duty rather than desire.
I hooked up with this guy online, we messaged, he declared his feelings, I resisted for a few months then gave in. This has gone on for a year.... and as a result everything at home has got better. Better sex, more caring, more fun.
We both agreed that we are happy with our spouses but love the frisson of the affair. There are no plans on either side to leave and the thing is complementary rather than replacing.

MrsKwazii Wed 22-Mar-17 20:53:01

It may have improved how you view your marriage for you, but would your DH have the same opinion if he knew? You may have no plans to leave, your DH could leave if he found out. Lying and deceit doesn't improve relationships, it breaks them.

Pauline345 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:54:58

I don't think he could claim that it had negatively affected it.

Pauline345 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:55:12

But I take your point.

therootoftheroot Wed 22-Mar-17 20:56:17

pauline-i don't for one minute believe you are a woman who thinks her affair has spiced up her marriage.

anyoldname76 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:56:54

why dont you tell your husband about your affair and see if he's as happy as you are about it

DropDeadNed Wed 22-Mar-17 20:57:21

If he finds out it will break his heart and he will think it was all a lie, replay everything you did together over the past year and wonder if it was him or you on a high from fucking your OM.

Neverknowing Wed 22-Mar-17 20:59:06

Who are you really?

c3pu Wed 22-Mar-17 20:59:44

If your DH was having an affair would you be this pleased at the wonders fucking someone else was doing for your marriage?


khajiit13 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:00:14

I doubt your husband would agree

Bones2017 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:00:59

Tell him about your antics then see how much great sex you get from DH. Sheesh!

justdontevenfuckingstart Wed 22-Mar-17 21:02:46

Yes marvellously. My marriage was over and we're now with other people and very happy.

Your opening post however is crap. Well done you.

Aderyn2016 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:04:04

I think you are a troll. No one could really be as thick as you seem

Notwhatiexpected Wed 22-Mar-17 21:05:33

Do you think maybe you are on a massive justification of your behaviour thing?

Other relationships can improve a marriage, I am talking honest polygamy etc, if everyone is happy and consenting.

But you say that you don't believe your OH could argue that it hasn't improved things, why not test that and tell him? Or are your thoughts/needs too much of a priority for you in this marriage?

PurpleDaisies Wed 22-Mar-17 21:06:27


PacificDogwod Wed 22-Mar-17 21:07:50

Oh, wow, amazing! <takes notes>
What a brilliant idea!!
How is your husband enjoying his affair??


c3pu Wed 22-Mar-17 21:08:50

I forgot one of these:


Underthemoonlight Wed 22-Mar-17 21:09:19


SuffolkBumkin Wed 22-Mar-17 21:11:50

Sounds like something a ukpunter would say..........

PigletWasPoohsFriend Wed 22-Mar-17 21:11:51

Interesting first post OP....biscuit

BarbaraRoberts Wed 22-Mar-17 21:13:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notmyrealname85 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:14:04

Oh yeah DEFINITELY!! It shattered my spouse's confidence forever!! star star star I gave him an std!!!! That lasts! My children despise me for the betrayal! They'll lose trust in future relationships cos they think their own parent is a massive skank!! Alllll our neighbours found out and my boss and now everyone at work thinks I'm a creep! I make their skin crawl!!

SilverBirchWithout Wed 22-Mar-17 21:14:20

How would you feel if you discovered your DH was doing the same?
Maybe you should discuss it with him so he can improve the marriage for himself too.

Notmyrealname85 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:16:11

But you know what they say... betrayal to everyone you know is sexy as hell!! Whatever gets you off, right? At any cost!! Go you!!!!

Can the trolls from that sad ass old man dusty skank punting site please leave our boards

Ashley madison didn't do you a lot of good. Well, unless you're a divorce lawyer smile

Notmyrealname85 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:18:46

Interesting q... if someone is outed as a user of that site, could it affect their visitation rights?

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