Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating someone with bipolar

(12 Posts)
ojojoj1 Wed 22-Mar-17 19:46:48

Any hints and tips on that complex issue . How do you deal with extreme lows ?

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 19:51:17

This would suggest that it is not managed correctly on stable medication. That's probably the key to any successful relationship is stability.

You don't give more details

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 22-Mar-17 20:08:20

You don't deal with the extreme lows. They do. Don't try to be their therapist. Don't try to fix the person.

ojojoj1 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:01:36

The question is do you just leave them to it when they don't show any interest in anyone or anything.

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 21:03:29

You can suggest they get help and support but you can't make them do it

sunshinesupermum Wed 22-Mar-17 21:05:05

My partner is bipolar. I leave him to it when he is deeply depressed but he knows I am there if he needs me. You can't fix this I'm afraid and there is no cure. Some meds can help the worse of the symptoms.

SandyY2K Wed 22-Mar-17 22:05:04

Every bipolar sufferer is different, but I would think whether this is a a relationship you can deal with long term, without it affecting your own health and wellbeing.

My BIL exhibits signs of bipolar and it drives my Dsis crazy. He can be the most lively person in the room, and another day he's as miserable as sin and totally withdrawn. I honestly couldn't deal with it.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 22-Mar-17 22:10:34

The question is do you just leave them to it when they don't show any interest in anyone or anything.
What else would you do? Try to jolly them out of a bipolar black dog?

scoobydoo1971 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:40:11

My husband has diagnosed bipolar and is under periodic out-patient care. His mood swings are breath-taking and difficult to explain to children. There is no cure and this a life-long journey that you either decide to accept, or walk away from. During the low points, I am there to support him with the tears, self doubt and helplessness. During the high points, I am there to talk him out of being exploited by others (relatives and some acquaintances would use him for money etc), accept he is going talk over me and rush around like a wasp on crack, stop him driving (he takes too many risks in a car on a high), buying stuff he doesn't need (huge investments that have no logic) and feed him as he has an eating disorder as part of his bipolar so often skips meals when he is off dreaming up the next big thing.

I am not going to tell you this is easy, but I wouldn't swap him either as he is a good father and tries to be supportive to me...fails miserably sometimes, but I put that down to his conditions.

ojojoj1 Thu 23-Mar-17 07:36:34

Thanks scooby for that . It's really hard as it's a new thing and from high to low it was just like someone switched the light .

U2HasTheEdge Thu 23-Mar-17 09:23:09

My husband has bipolar and awful anxiety, especially socially which is a big problem at times for him.

His mania is very well controlled. He gets it in the form of agitation and obsessive behaviour now, but no highs in a way you would assume he would. The switch between a decent mood and extremely low mood can be quick and every day can be different. I say decent mood because his mood is always lower than it should be.

Lows are a massive issue and after 20 odd years of many different meds we know they will always be poorly controlled.

It's difficult at times. I have to try and spot when he is heading towards a crisis and I do it well, but that's after many years of learning and having to become an expert in his illness. I have had to fight for him to receive help when he couldn't do it himself.

My advice to you would be if you let his moods affect yours you are in trouble. I am an expert now at not letting his moods change mine. It helps that he is a wonderful gentle and kind man and he doesn't take them out on anyone, he will take himself away if he is feeling grumpy with other people and I expect nothing less. You have to be strong and resilient. Over time it becomes easier in many ways because I instinctively know what he needs and when but it's still a tough road to travel at times. It's also heartbreaking to watch so you have to be able to bounce back yourself and be able to protect yourself emotionally.

I would marry him all over again though. He is an amazing man and the good outweighs the hard periods. However, I would tell anyone who is dating someone with bipolar to take the relationship slowly because you don't always know how awfully their condition affects them and before settling down you need to be quite sure you have the personality and strength and actually want to deal with the things you will be dealing with. It is not for everyone. It's difficult no doubt about it, and my husband has never let his moods change how he treats anyone and he always treats us with love and care no matter what.

He is going through a very good period right now, he is doing extremely well but it can take one day to change it.

ojojoj1 Thu 23-Mar-17 13:32:01

Thank you u2

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: