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Tell me the good and bad of being married to a doctor?

(21 Posts)
Broadchurch63 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:11:22

Just interested to hear your experiences/ opinions. People have strange assumptions about doctors most of them untrue.

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 17:15:30

My best friend is a doctor. She's pretty normal and married.
I have quite a lot of friends who are doctors and I don't know anyone who assume anything strange about them?
Study is long and hard and expensive and hours vary like anyone else's jobs.
Doctors do all kinds of different jobs, a trauma doctor in A&E has a completely different job to a community paediatrician for instance.
What assumptions do people have about them am I naive that I have no idea?

Paperdoll16 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:27:25

I'm not sure they can be generalised into a certain group of personalities based their career choice?!!

Maybe elboarate on your question? Do you mean with the long hours they work, around the clock?

ChicRock Wed 22-Mar-17 17:28:56

I'm not sure what you mean?

What strange assumptions do people have about doctors? confused

Broadchurch63 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:30:38

Do you find them empathetic as people?

Do they take better/worse care of themselves than others?

If married to non medics, do they share their daily experiences with you or keep them to themselves.

If working in the NHS are they very stressed- do they bring this stress home?

TurnipCake Wed 22-Mar-17 17:32:00

Ok, I'll bite

Pros:

Free medical advice depending on the specialty

Cons:

Annual leave depends on rotas and swapping of nights/weekends to accommodate events/holidays, frustrating for all involved
Money being spent on exams/indemnity/GMC fees, it goes quite quickly
Forget naming any of your children Jeremy

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 17:32:26

They are just people. Like any other people. If you were in a pub you wouldn't be able to spot a doctor from someone who works in a shop.

You cannot generalise any of those things about doctors in general

Everyone in the NHS is stressed

SandyY2K Wed 22-Mar-17 17:33:59

It's a bit too general a question and it does depend on what type of doctor the person is. For example a surgeon is more likely to work longer hours.

They work unsocial hours, but GPs not so much.

It's like asking what it's like being married to a teacher or police officer. Everyone is an individual.

WeAreNotInKansasAnymore Wed 22-Mar-17 17:34:00

What sort of doctor?
Which branch of medicine?
How junior/senior?
Private or NHS?
Which part of the country?
How is that part subdivided?
Who are the patients?
When did the person train?
Where did they train?
How many dependents?
Are they from a medical family?
How long is a piece of string?

GeorgeTheHamster Wed 22-Mar-17 17:35:44

Are you writing an article?

inlectorecumbit Wed 22-Mar-17 17:36:00

this is a bit of a no question

Every job has it's own pros and cons

I come from a family of medics and lawyers--they are just people with their own quirks, some talk some don't.

Sleeperandthespindle Wed 22-Mar-17 17:36:21

Which 'news'paper are you from?

pinkblink Wed 22-Mar-17 17:37:06

The good.... not having to redial 607 times for a flipping appointment

GrassWillBeGreener Wed 22-Mar-17 17:38:02

"Forget naming any of your children Jeremy"
This!!

Craicvac Wed 22-Mar-17 17:38:34

Pros
Interesting stories
Good job security

Cons
While training (can be ten years post graduate) they get moved every 6 months usually with a couple of weeks notice- can be hours away
Working somewhere between 50-70 hrs a week
Missing weddings, parties, joint holidays
The fees! My husband's indemnity insurance is £7000 per year
The fact that at any given family event/party/wedding/funeral, people think he'll be really interested in hearing about their piles/dodgy knee/ how badly the NHS treated them... even more so when they preface it with "I know you must hate people asking you for advice,but..." gives me the rage! (He's far too nice a person)

Thattimeofyearagain Wed 22-Mar-17 17:38:41

Daily Fail? hmm

anotherBadAvatar Wed 22-Mar-17 17:38:58

I'm a doctor. There's not one "type".

Why on earth are you asking this?

Paperdoll16 Wed 22-Mar-17 17:40:20

Okay. I personally don't think you can generalise this. It's down to the individual.

I am a midwife and I work with a lot of doctors; junior, senior and consultants.

Some are more empathetic than others (we all know how vulnerable and scared childbirth can be) and this is the same with patience, communication etc etc.

Personal standards are individual too! It's no different to any other work place.

It's a confidential profession but there are some situations that without revealing personal details I'm sure are shared with their partners after a difficult day. Others may just switch off.

Stress? Again, individual to them as to whether they manage their emotions or let them build up.

Sorry, not really helpful but you could speak to many people married to clinicians who would give varied answers based upon their own partners!

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 17:41:17

I work in NHS as well as having doctor friends.

Everyone in NHS is stressed out generally. Private practice is less stressful because you would be more senior. Junior doctors have to work rotations at different hospitals and different departments on different shifts.

A lot of people have to work shifts or be on call. Nurses, managers, health care assistants, cleaners.

Everyone in healthcare gets affected by incidents so they talk about them sometimes and nowadays you can be personally liable for mistakes as well as your trust so there is pressure on you from that perspective. You have to follow a lot of procedures and guidelines (red tape) and keep up to date with your registration and training and attend a lot of meetings, lectures, supervision, paperwork etc etc

TastyTub Wed 22-Mar-17 17:42:31

Everyone has already said most of ^ anyway sorry

ABitCrapReally Wed 22-Mar-17 18:18:31

Unmmm not really sure what you're hoping to get from this . . . If you were looking for a 'scoop' there's nothing to be found here.
I go to work, come home and I'm a normal person.
Other Mums at school don't know what I do. I don't go around with my profession written on my head.
I never attempt to diagnose or treat friends/family members. That's for their own GPs to do.
If I have to go to the GP or take the children I don't tell them what I do. I'm a concerned Mum/patient nothing else.
I try to eat healthily - sometimes I don't
I try to exercise - but sometimes I don't
I drive a normal car and wear normal clothes.
I get stressed at work, but my builder husband doesn't have a clue about anything medical and of course, I'm bound by confidentiality. So I'll tell him a bad day, but nothing more.
My parents are medical, we have a bit of banter about who has the most papers/articles published.

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